tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29997181289398999462024-03-15T21:10:12.812-04:00Hipster BrewfusBeer and Troublemaking.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.comBlogger112125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-46363434669088491732015-11-06T10:38:00.000-05:002015-11-06T10:58:29.812-05:00Talking About the Thing We Talk About Not Talking AboutStop me if you have heard this one before...<br />
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Come home from work, have a beer.<br />
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Making dinner, have a couple beers.<br />
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Sit down with the intention of playing Call Of Duty and yelling at kids through your head set, have about 4 beers<br />
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Do lawn work all afternoon, have about 6 beers. Sitting around a fire with your buddies, bullshitting all night, have about 8 beers.<br />
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Now add all those up on a normal Saturday or whatever. That's a lot of goddamn beers. And I'm not saying you all do that, but until recently, that was kind of my normal drinking habits. It has gotten to the point where I realized 10 beers in, and I'm not nearly as drunk as I should be. It has gotten to the point where friends and family have expressed a "hey, you need to calm the fuck down" sentiment to me.<br />
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It has gotten to the point where I feel it would irresponsible of me to not write on this topic, and finally talk about it. As the title implies, all of us beer writers at some point have acknowledged that this is a topic worth talking about...and then that's fucking it. The conversation rarely expands beyond the acknowledgment of said issue.<br />
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So we're going to get uncomfortable the next few days. No, not blogging from the back of a Volkswagen.<br />
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See that there? That isn't a picture I stole off the Internet. That's a death certificate.<br />
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To be more accurate, my father's death certificate.<br />
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To really hammer the point home, here is what I want you to take notice of:<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4FSzYs35EF0/VjzI5HW_Y0I/AAAAAAAADjQ/bPRNfAcePxU/s1600/death2.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="115" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4FSzYs35EF0/VjzI5HW_Y0I/AAAAAAAADjQ/bPRNfAcePxU/s400/death2.PNG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Yeah. My piece of shit dad drank himself to death. Now, this isn't going to be a spiel about growing up with an absent father, nor is there going to be any real highlights about having an alcoholic mother either; This is about my relationship with alcohol, be it for better or worse.<br />
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Am I an alcoholic? According to the NCADD (National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence), I very well might be. According to rehab.com, I should potentially seek help. According to myself, and 99% of you out there, I just really like beer. Isn't that what we all say?<br />
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But hey I really DO just really like beer! I love the exploration of flavors. I love the immersion in the history of it. I don't need to drink, right? I mean, today was a tough day at work, I deserve a drink. And that drink deserves another. Hey, this one has been chilling in my fridge for a while, been wanting to drink that one, whats one more? Hmm, I'm still relatively sober, I kind of would like to catch a buzz, maybe one more will do the trick? No? Well how about one more, and then I'll head to bed. Perfect.<br />
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And that's how it goes. It's a seamless train of thought that I chase down the tunnels till I reach the altered state of mind that I want to achieve. It's certainly not every day, but it's definitely more often than is probably healthy.<br />
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Look, I'm not about to sit here and say you're all alcoholics. SO if you're already planning on making some stupid comment along the lines of "SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!" I don't even want to fucking hear it. Keep it to yourself. I'm not going to sit here and say I am an alcoholic. But you know whats a scary thought? I could be. Very easily, actually.<br />
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I do not shy away from the fact that I love being drunk. It's so much fun. Hanging outside on my patio, buzzed and listening to Wu-Tang. Sitting on my couch, screaming at 12 year old kids on XBox live is only made better when I'm 5 beers deep.<br />
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If I'm going to be honest, there is more negativity that has been influenced with my love of beer than I ever care to reflect on. Looking back on my past friendships, I can easily see that the common denominator is alcohol. Take inebriation out of the equation, and that friendship is strained, and the time spent together is awkward. It is never as fulfilling as it is when you're both already a few beers deep. Looking back at past romantic relationships more often than not, I can pinpoint when things started to go down hill after decisions I made while heavily intoxicated. As many of you know, I am 31 years old as I write this, and already once divorced. I don't even want to delve into the possibilities of what alcohol may or may not have contributed to that.<br />
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I mean, yes, in the game of life, I am fucking winning. I am very happily married now to a woman I love beyond words. But even now I still put my relationship in jeopardy more often than I care to admit. And what, you may ask is the cause of that? Alcohol.<br />
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It's this weird double edged sword. Some of my best memories have some amount of alcohol involved. In the same breath, some of the worst, most scariest moments, are also fueled by alcohol. I have the broken household items to prove it. I have had some questionable drive homes, as well.<br />
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Kind of scary how that last sentence seems like it's an afterthought.<br />
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It would be easy for me to sit here and justify my drinking. I have never gotten a DUI. I have never gotten into a fight. I have never injured myself. More often than not, my drinking is done at home, on the couch.<br />
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Excuses. Excuses. Damage isn't only measured in quantifiable instances. You would be, and I have been, a fool to ignore the emotional, and physical toll that my drinking has wrought.<br />
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It's just unfortunate that I am only now learning that I have been toeing the line for far too long.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-7338424685850222012015-07-16T07:00:00.000-04:002015-07-16T07:00:01.422-04:00On The Road. A Pre-BBC&W15 Reflection.By the time you read this, I will be gone.<div>
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My car is packed up, my cooler is full, the wife is asleep in the back seat, and I am driving down to North Carolina to participate in the 2015 Beer Bloggers (and Writers) conference. </div>
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It's a weird thing for me. To start with, I'm only 3 years old in blogger years, and I'm surprised I managed to last this paltry amount of time. But I also find myself becoming more and more detached from the beer scene, and the writers that come along with it.</div>
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When I first started I was rabid, I was ready to jump head first into everything, to spread myself thin, and to cheerlead my ass off. Now? Not so much. I've pulled back. Far more reserved in my writing. It's become a landscape of fluff pieces on a topic that is a couple years too late, people still debating cans versus bottles, people still refusing to acknowledge that beer is a business, and a still constant barrage of adjectives as people continue to review beers.</div>
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That last one, thankfully, is being discussed this year by some good friends of mine during the Saturday sessions.<br /><br />So where do I fit in? No idea.<br /><br />When I left Boston in 2013, the biggest thing I took away was realizing what kind of blogger I <i>didn't</i> want to be. I pretty much stopped reviewing beers because I'm not adding anything to the conversation. Since then, yes my number of posts has fallen significantly, but I am far happier that I am creating content worth talking about. A lot of this stems from friendships I have formed with other bloggers who are beyond beer reviews, and have influenced me greatly (Oliver from <i>"Literature and Libation,"</i> and Bryan from <i>"This Is Why I'm Drunk"</i>) and helped shape a new generation of writing from me. With that I was able to form an amalgamation of humor, and the willingness to tackle topics like<span style="color: orange;"> <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2014/12/enough.html"><span style="color: orange;">sexism,</span></a></span> <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2014/08/one-word-of-advice-for-craft-beer-newbie.html"><span style="color: orange;">why some people are ruining beer for newbies,</span></a> <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2014/07/the-session-90-beer-fight-club.html"><span style="color: orange;">why I hate beer blogging,</span></a> and <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2014/12/verbose-validation-of-verbage.html"><span style="color: orange;">why I love beer blogging.</span></a> There is also plenty of dumb available, too. </div>
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Am I a good writer? Probably not. Although I know I'm a better writer than I was.</div>
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Am I important to beer? Nope, I'm just another dude with a computer writing about things that don't matter in the long run.</div>
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Why am I going? To be with friends. To hopefully learn something new. Maybe reinvigorate my passion for writing and learning about beer</div>
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Will there be cupcakes?<br /><br />I hope so.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KtrBgCQYNKQ/VaT9IOeqoqI/AAAAAAAADaM/dE6dvrTxXww/s1600/CUPCAKES.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KtrBgCQYNKQ/VaT9IOeqoqI/AAAAAAAADaM/dE6dvrTxXww/s320/CUPCAKES.JPG" width="242" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Photo Courtesy of "<a href="http://twogirlsonebeer.com/">Two Girls One Beer</a>"</i></td></tr>
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<i>You can read more about my BBC13 experience in Boston <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2013/08/2013-beer-bloggers-conference-or.html"><span style="color: orange;">here</span></a>.</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-14452083563077809652015-06-12T08:03:00.000-04:002015-06-16T09:49:19.727-04:00How to Make Father’s Day Exceptionally Awesome<div class="MsoNormal">
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<br />
Brewfus has never lead you astray. At least I hope I haven’t. I brought you such gems as the “<a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2014/03/hipster-brewfus-his-guide-on-beer-for.htm"><span style="color: orange;">Guide to Beer for Girls</span></a>,” my “<a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2015/04/brewfus-ultimate-guide-to-getting-drunk.html"><span style="color: orange;">Ultimate Guide To Getting Drunk In Hot Weather</span></a>,” and the Pulitzer prize
winning “<a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2014/05/brewfus-definitive-food-pairing-guide.html"><span style="color: orange;">Definitive Food Pairing Guide</span></a>.”<br />
<br />
I am quite proud of all of those.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now, as a dude, and as a father, I’m bringing you the latest
in guide, “How to Make Father’s Day Exceptionally Awesome.”<br />
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These are the things all dads will want, so prepare to open those purses and
wallets and make with the gift buying; THERE IS ONLY A WEEK LEFT TO SHOP!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>1) Alka Setlzer</b><br />
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Plop plop, fizz fizz oh what a relief it is to not feel like
you’re rotting from the inside out. Chances are your dad guy is going to want
to drink to slight excess every once in a while to escape the turmoil of life.
When he wakes up feeling like his bones were removed, and his skin was smacked
around with a rug beater, Alka Seltzer will bring him right back up to 75%.
Sure it tastes awful, but dammit if it doesn’t work. I recommend the 216 count
box.</div>
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Purchase Link: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YFLZ8PC?psc=1"><span style="color: orange;">http://www.amazon.com/SourStomachKiller</span></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>2) Sack Full of McGriddles</b><br />
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Science has brought us a lot of things. Sex robots,
artificial limbs, A.I. that will one day bring down humanity. But I believe humanity apexed with McGriddles. A sausage patty, egg, and cheese, sandwiched by pancakes with syrup
injected into it. I mean, what the hell??<br />
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It’s a fact that biting into a McGriddle is akin to taking a bite into a baby
angel. Fluffy, meaty deliciousness all packed into 420 delicious calories.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>3) Cold Cup with Lid & Straw</b><br />
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While lying on the couch, or lying in bed, with minimal
movement and light, your dad guy is no doubt going to work himself up a
man-sized thirst. Help him quench that with minimal effort on his part by
getting a cup with a top and straw. It truly is a feat of engineering that we
can get all things in one convenient package. While we’re at it, make it
exciting. Give him the Batman cup he always wanted as a kid, but whose parents didn’t
love him enough to ever fulfill his wishes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Purchase Link: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Comics-Acrylic-Cold-Cup-Straw/dp/B0087DAB8S/ref=sr_1_8?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1434106992&sr=1-8&keywords=travel+cup+straw"><span style="color: orange;">http://www.amazon.com/BestCupEver</span></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>4) Fluffy Pillows</b><br />
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Scott Weiland said it best in “Wet My Bed,” (which might be something
you have to deal with on this special Father’s Day) “clean sheets, incense, and
lots of fluffy…pillows.” Because who can lay in bed all day feeling like a pile
of garbage that was set on fire, without proper neck and head support? No one,
that’s who. Give your dad guy the gift
of comfort with a luxurious pillow. He will thank you as he stains it with
sweat and drool between his bouts of consciousness.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Purchase Link: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Mediflow-Down-Plus/dp/B000GTFOEC/ref=sr_1_18?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1434107208&sr=1-18&keywords=fluffy+pillow"><span style="color: orange;">http://www.amazon.com/LayYourStupidHeadOnThis</span></a><br />
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<b>5) More Beer</b></div>
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Sometimes all dad guy <s>want</s>s needs after exploring
every other option to not feel like a pile of death, is some of the proverbial “hair
of the dog.” And you can give that to him! You may not want to run to the store
because you may not know what to get as choices are overwhelming. Skip all of
that hard work, and have beer delivered to your door. Sign his drunken ass up
for a beer of the month club, and fret not about disappointing him with your
lack of knowledge in beer shopping. Let the pros get him drunk FOR YOU!<br />
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I recommend the Rare Beer Club, because whaelz bro.</div>
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Purchase Link: <a href="http://www.beermonthclub.com/"><span style="color: orange;">http://www.beermonthclub.com/</span></a><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>6) Wet Wipes</b><br />
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You know what? Just trust me on this one. I recommend the 1,000 count.<br />
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Purchasing Link: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Cottonelle-Flushable-Cleansing-Cloths-Refill/dp/B00EDR6YB0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1434108006&sr=8-1&keywords=wet+wipes&pebp=1434108008300&perid=BAA025017D1F4C859D76"><span style="color: orange;">http://www.amazon.com/YourButtholeWillThankMe</span></a><br />
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For more ideas visit:<br />
<br />
Bryan at "This is Why I'm Drunk": <a href="https://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/2015/06/12/5-terrible-beer-gifts-for-fathers-day/"><span style="color: orange;">https://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/2015/06/12/5-terrible-beer-gifts-for-fathers-day/</span></a><br />
<br />
Oliver at "Literature and Libation": <span style="color: orange;">http://literatureandlibation.com/2015/06/12/a-fathers-day-bone-marrow-donation-guide/</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-60277216729732342122015-05-12T08:08:00.001-04:002015-05-12T08:08:20.760-04:00Lets Do Some Good In This WorldSo, we are on the heels of 3 years of Hipster Brewfus, and it's pretty exciting. I appreciate you all sticking with me as I've evolved from thinking people cared about <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2012/05/1-sam-adams-grumpy-monk.html"><span style="color: orange;">my beer reviews</span></a>, to more important <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2014/12/enough.html"><span style="color: orange;">social commentary</span></a>, and to my own thoughts <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2015/05/look-at-me.html"><span style="color: orange;">as I evolved</span></a> as a dude in the beer game.<br /><br />It has indeed been a great 3 years, and I hope to continue being here for another 3 more. Once we hit that, we will re-evaluate just what the hell I am doing.<div>
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And that brings us to today. Today I want to do something good for the world, and we have been given a great opportunity. You see, when I decided to start this whole bloggy thing, there were two people instrumental in my decision to start writing. The first was my wife, and the second is someone none of you know. His name is RC, and he opened my eyes to a lot of different things that beer had to offer. he has supported me both vocally, and with sending me countless bottles of amazing stuff, including a wedding present that kind of blew my mind.</div>
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<a href="https://instagram.com/p/mV98Ucr53a/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" target="_top">A photo posted by @hipsterbrewfus</a> on <time datetime="2014-04-03T21:45:19+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Apr 3, 2014 at 2:45pm PDT</time></div>
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So today I ask you for help, readers and friends. RC is running in his second Chicago Marathon because he is a glutton for punishment, but also wants to help families in need. He is a representative of Team RHMC (Ronald McDonald House Charities), and is looking to raise $1,500, and I think we can help him.<br /><br />So here is where you come in. Donate. Please. As little or as much as you can afford. For every donation, your name goes into a hat, and at the end of it all, there will be a drawing for some really great bottles of beer.<br /><br />The link for donations is here: <a href="http://support.rmhc.org/site/TR/TeamRMHC-ChicagoMarathon/General?px=1010646&pg=personal&fr_id=1110"><span style="color: orange;">http://support.rmhc.org/site/TR/TeamRMHC-ChicagoMarathon/General?px=1010646&pg=personal&fr_id=1110</span></a></div>
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You will be helping family in need, and potentially win some beer that I bet your ass can't get anywhere else.<br /><br />So how does this all work?<br /><br />You click the link and fill out the information. On that screen there is an option to fill out your name and leave a note. Do that. if you are anonymous, we have no way of knowing it's you, and unfortunately you can not be considered.</div>
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Once you've made your donation, just let me know with a comment on this blog post <b><u><span style="color: red;">WITH A WAY TO CONTACT YOU</span></u></b>, or if you prefer it to be a little private, you can e-mail me personally: <a href="mailto:Jake@HipsterBrewfus.com"><span style="color: orange;">Jake@HipsterBrewfus.com</span></a></div>
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In October, we will do the drawing, and BAM, you get beer AND the feeling that you did some good for strangers.<br /><br />Prepare to see this a lot on my social media as well, because I will be sharing it frequently. This is important to me, and I look forward to your support!</div>
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Love,</div>
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Hipster Brewfus.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-19346128173636009952015-05-08T08:51:00.000-04:002015-05-08T09:02:04.887-04:00LOOK AT ME!Someone once told me that I was going to ruin my "cred" because I love buying beer based purely on label art. As if "marketing" isn't a goddamned bajillion dollar industry.<br />
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In another life, I fancied myself an artist of sorts. And like most good artists, I've succumbed to a life of being drunk, intolerable, and hung up on one particular aspect of life.. Lately, I've become kind of obsessed about label art. I have become totally aware of how it directly affects my purchasing, and find myself attempting to pick out similarities or differences between the cacophony of colors and pictures.<br />
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This fascination of palettes lead me to share this idea with one award winning, and now <a href="http://www.thrillist.com/drink/nation/ciders-you-need-to-be-drinking-right-now-best-ciders?fb_action_ids=10100767625179919&fb_action_types=og.shares"><span style="color: orange;">Thrillist</span></a> contributor Sir Bryan D. Roth from "<a href="https://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/"><span style="color: orange;">This Is Why I'm Drunk</span></a>." He became excited about the idea, and I became excited about the excitement, and then we danced. Then worked together to craft 2 different, but cohesive posts about label art. Mine will be more of a personal take, and his, I'm nearly 100% positive, will be more facts and numbers loaded.<br />
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<i>EDIT: His own take on all of this is quite fascinating, and you can read it <a href="https://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/in-search-of-americas-most-loved-beer-label/"><span style="color: orange;">here</span>.</a></i><br />
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I'm going to try to keep it simple, because I'm not necessarily looking for facts, I want to look at popular beers, and I want to look at beers I like, and see where the paths converge in terms of artwork, if they even do at all Seems simple enough, right? Keep in mind, I have a habit of going in over my head, so I may lose you.<br />
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This is how we're doing this: Top 10 Beer Advocate, Rate Beer, and Untappd beers as of today (5/7/2015). Then MY Top 10 highest rated beers, and my top 10 most checked in beers over all. Then I'm going to stare at the labels for a few moments like a slack-jawed idiot, then scribble down my thoughts, and proceed on to the next one. Sounds simple, right?<br />
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We're playing real fast and loose on this one!<br />
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<i>EDIT: As I go in on this, I'm going to add caveats. Like right now, I'm adding that for any of the beers on the rating sights, it must have over 2,000 ratings to be considered, and a brewer must have more than 10,000 ratings.</i><br />
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<i>EDIT 2: For my personal stats, home brews do not count. Even if they have awesome labels.</i><br />
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<a href="http://www.beeradvocate.com/lists/top/"><span style="color: orange;"><b>Beer Advocate Top 10 Beers</b></span></a><br />
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1. "Heady Topper" - The Alchemist<br />
2. "Bourbon County Brand Coffee Stout" - Goose Island<br />
3. "CBS Imperial Stout" - Founders<br />
4. "Pliny the Younger" - Russian River<br />
5. "Pliny the Elder" - Russian River<br />
6. "Fou' Foune" - Brasserie Cantillion<br />
7. "Abner" - Hills Farmstead<br />
8. "KBS" - Founders<br />
9. "Zombie Dust" - Three Floyds<br />
10. "Trappist Westvleteren 12 (XII)" - Brouwerij Westvleteren<br />
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<b>Takeaway: </b>It's hard not to notice a couple things with this group. The first is the comic/cartoon styling of Zombie Dust and Heady. Now look at the bottom left corner, occupied by Cantillion, Abner, KBS, and Westy. You'll notice that they are heavily steeped in earth tones. Moving on, Bourbon County Coffee goes with a subtle, classy approach, and on the other extreme of classy, CBS offers up a beautiful painting of a Canadian Mountie. Russian River, however, seem to want to go with a "Less is More" approach, while simultaneously laughing at you as they plaster their world renowned beer with Comic Sans. You know, the font that sends half the internet into a ridiculously stupid fit of rage? That one. Is it purposely Ironic? I haven't the foggiest.<br />
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<b>Personally: </b>Heady, and Zombie are all examples of things that reach out and touch me. I'm a sucker for lavish comic book art work, and artist Tim Seeley really nailed it. The goofiness of Heady, kind of reminds me to a throw back of artists like Harvey Pekar and his "American Splendor" series. Both of these labels jump off the figurative shelf and encourage me to buy them.<br />
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<b><a href="http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/top-50/"><span style="color: orange;">Rate Beer Top 10</span></a></b><br />
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1. "Trappist Westvleteren 12 (XII)" - Brouwerij Westvleteren<br />
2. "Trappistes 10" - Brasserie Rochefort<br />
3. "Speedway Stout" - AleSmith<br />
4. KBS - Founders<br />
5. "Expedition Stout" - Bell's<br />
6. "Pliny the Elder" - Russian River<br />
7. "Bourbon County Brand Stout" - Goose Island<br />
8. Dreadnaught - Three Floyds<br />
9. Hopslam - Bell's<br />
10. Imperial Russian Stout - Stone<br />
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<b>Takeaway: </b>Nothing...really jumps out at me. The biggest thing I notice immediately is the lack of variety in colors. The second is the realm of earth tones we are stuck in again, with a smattering of black, blues, and greens. Other than Dreadnaught and Hopslam, everything else is pretty much shrouded in simplicity.<br />
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<b>Personally: </b>Eh. I appreciate the painted glass bottles Stone has, but hate the quality of their stupid attempts to emasculate you. Their diatribes of faux-badassery are annoying, at best. The rest just...don't seem to make any attempt at anything. Kind of disappointed with the RateBeer selections. I mean, are they nice? Yeah, of course. Well, some of them at least. But do they say "HEY LOOK AT ME AMONG ALL THESE OTHER BEERS?" Nope.<br />
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<b><a href="https://untappd.com/beer/top_rated"><span style="color: orange;">Untappd Top 10:</span></a></b><br />
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1. "Rare Bourbon County Brand Stout" - Goose Island<br />
2. "Proprietor's Bourbon County Brand Stout" - Goose Island<br />
3. "Double Barrel Hunapu's" - Cigar City<br />
4. "Pliny the Younger" - Russian River<br />
5. "Barrel Aged Abraxas" - Perrenial Artisian<br />
6. "Heady Topper" - The Alchemist<br />
7. "King Henry" - Goose Island<br />
8. "CBS" - Founders<br />
9. "Bourbon County Brand Vanilla Stout" - Goose Island<br />
10. "Trappist Westvleteren 12 (XII)" - Brouwerij Westvleteren<br />
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<b>Takeaway:</b> HOLY GOOSE ISLAND! 40% of this list is ONE brewery with 3 variations of one beer. You know, those Bourbon County labels are really quite handsome. Abraxas and King Henry both also get points for the intricacy displayed. And again, yellows and browns dominate my focus.<br />
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<b>Personally:</b> I don't know if its some degree of Stockholm syndrome going on, but I am really starting to love those Bourbon County labels. The rest? Eh. I'm digging King Henry and Abraxas though.<br />
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BREAK TIME!<br />
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Alright, so at this point we've looked at 30 beers, with a lot of overlap, and not a whole lot of excitement. I've had a lot of these beers, but really, none of them are on shelves. And I know, I know, the bottle that Westy comes in doesn't even have a label. It Is pretty though, that gold painted "XII."<br />
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For the most part, I believe that the majority of the labels on these lists are pretty straightforward and simple. Zombie Dust is really the only one out of the 30 that really makes you take notice. The examples of Rochefort and Westy kind of remind me why I don't buy more imported Belgian beers and the like. I mean, I certainly buy my fair share, but usually that's because I know what I'm looking to get. Far less of a spontaneous purchase.<br />
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Back to it!<br />
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<b><u><span style="color: orange;">My Untappd Top 10 Highest Rated:</span></u></b><br />
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1. "Sculpin" - Ballast Point<br />
2. "Raging Bitch" - Flying Dog<br />
3. "Balt Altbier" -Union Craft Brewing<br />
4. "Resurrection" - Brewers Art<br />
5. "Watermelon Ale" - Thomas Hooker Brewing<br />
6. "Wisconsin Belgian Red" - New Glarus<br />
7. "Fruet" - The Bruery<br />
8. "Gandhi Bot" - New England Brewing Co.<br />
9. "Heady Topper" - The Alchemist<br />
10. "Shipwright" - Relic Brewing<br />
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<b>Takeaway: </b>Immediately I have to say this, I hate Ballast Point labels for the most part. I think they're ugly as sin. But the beer is good, so whatever. Flying Dog I think is a shoe in when the conversation swirls around label art. Why wouldn't it? Steadman is a legend. Brewers Art, Union, New Glarus, and Bruery also have very simple, but tasteful labels. And now there are three Connecticut labels here, go figure, and comparing them would never be fair. Bot is in line with most of NEBCO labels, in its fun, outlandish cartoon style. Hookers labels have always kind of sucked. They look like something made with Microsoft Clip Art. The real winner here to me is Relic. Maybe I'm biased, I don't know. I just love it. And again, like a broken fucking record, LOOK AT THE HUES MAN, THE HUES! Six of these 10 labels are again, browns and yellows and dirty looking.<br />
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<b>Personally: </b>I have always loved the labels Bruery uses. Not just the super elegant look, but they are distinctive in both the shapes AND, something you might not hear about too often, but the material that they use for said labels. They are super slick. not just your basic paper sticker. They really demand your attention when they're sitting there on the shelf. If I'm in a store, its labels like Flying Dog, Relic, and Heady that are grabbing my attention. Unions cans like Balt, Duckpin, and Gold are nice, but I much prefer their newest generation of cans (See: Double Duckpin and Old Pro).<br />
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<b><u><span style="color: orange;">My Top 10 Most Checked In:</span></u></b><br />
<b><u><span style="color: orange;"><br /></span></u></b>
1. "Summer Ale" - Sam Adams<br />
2. "The Fear" - Flying Dog<br />
3. "Lager" - Naragansett Beer<br />
4. "Creme Brulee" - Southern Tier<br />
5. " Chessie" - Union Craft Brewing<br />
6. "Sculpin" - Ballast Point<br />
7. "Sweet Baby Jesus" - DuClaw Brewing<br />
8. "Natty Boh" - Pabst Brewing<br />
9. "Dales Pale Ale" - Oskar Blues<br />
10. "Transatlantic" - Relic Brewing<br />
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<b>Takeaway: </b>As far as "art" goes, this selection is really lacking in it, save for a repeat of the last list, Relic and Flying Dog. DuClaw certainly isn't breaking any barriers in their labels department, but I'll give them this, you know their beer when you see it. Unions Chessie is a nice letterpress inspired design with a minimalist artwork look to it. I dig it. The majority of the rest are your typical font heavy designs. YAWN! And then there is Boh. Unless you're from Baltimore, you just won't get it, man.<br />
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<b>Personally: </b>Again, I'm reaching for Relic and Flying Dog. I mean, obviously I like the other beers, but I can't say much for their labels, other than they are obviously NOT the reasons I buy them.<br />
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<b><u>Lessons Learned</u></b></div>
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One thing I just noticed while wrapping this up is the juxtaposition between the 30 "top" beers versus my 20 "top" beers. For the first 30, look how dark the general labels are in terms of color schemes. Then look at how much lighter mine are in overall tone. If I was a scientist of some sorts, I would follow this down the rabbit hole even further.<br />
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So, I don't think there is any real correlation between the top beers and their labels. I just don't. None of them are anything outstanding, you know? Besides a large quantity of those beers never see the light of a store shelf, and instead are shipped back and forth across the country BECAUSE WHAELZ!</div>
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But me? I love artwork. I love breweries that use the label opportunity to put forth something special. I have also learned that a beautiful label ≠ an equally quality product.<br />
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All of this stemmed from a few tweets and Instagram pictures that I linked together in my brain and thought there might be something there.<br />
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Apparently I'm an sucker for yellow color schemes, eh <a href="https://twitter.com/Greenflashbeer">@Greenflashbeer</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/sixpoint">@sixpoint</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/SierraNevada">@SierraNevada</a>? <a href="http://t.co/5QuS5NgFus">pic.twitter.com/5QuS5NgFus</a></div>
— Hipster Brewfus (@HipsterBrewfus) <a href="https://twitter.com/HipsterBrewfus/status/568196151465385984">February 18, 2015</a></blockquote>
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<a href="https://instagram.com/p/080-iYr50x/" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_top">Another purchase based on nothing but the beautiful #labelart #amberale from #mexico #diadelosmuertos #dayofthedead #cerveza #beer #beernerd #craftbeerporn #craftbeer</a></div>
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A photo posted by @hipsterbrewfus on <time datetime="2015-04-01T23:16:52+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Apr 1, 2015 at 4:16pm PDT</time></div>
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<a href="https://instagram.com/p/z7sJJEL58O/" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_top">I have many thoughts brewing for a post about #labelart and how it affects my purchasing, and if there is any correlation between beauty and quality. Should be a good time. #craftbeer #PABeer #IPA #hops #beer #beernerd #beerblog #art #qualitybeer</a></div>
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A photo posted by @hipsterbrewfus on <time datetime="2015-03-07T16:09:02+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Mar 7, 2015 at 8:09am PST</time></div>
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With all this writing and pondering done with now, what did I learn? Nothing, really, but expect to be disappointed in life. I've bought beautiful labels, and have had bad products, and I've had incredible products with a lackluster sheen to them. There is a reason though, that people put work into their labels. You need to stand out in an increasing growing market. You have to differentiate yourself from the rest of the pack. I would like to think that a string of recent purchases on my end are proof that this works. I'm willing to sacrifice my "cred" in order to try new things, regardless of whether I'm disappointed in the final outcome or not. It's part of the game, baby.<br />
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Sorry to have wasted your time, I'm going to go float in the void of nothingness.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-54992592974884842502015-05-06T10:17:00.000-04:002015-05-06T16:08:26.883-04:00Where Do We Go From Here?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I make no secret of the breweries I have some sort of allegiance to. Otter Creek is one of those breweries. Long before they were gracious enough to donate beer to my wedding, Stovepipe Porter (RIP) was, to me, a perfect example of a porter. It was loaded with complex flavors, and really won me over to the dark styles of beers. I was just a drunk dude in Connecticut with Slayer playing in the background, getting excited with each sip I took.<br />
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The thing with Otter Creek though, was they...just existed. To many of the people in this “scene,” Otter Creek was just “whatever.” When this whole "craft" beer thing really began to explode, people wanted more hops, bigger flavors, and extremes of all kinds. OC didn't have that. They brewed simple, but well-made beers. Unfortunately those kind of beers weren’t and unfortunately STILL aren’t what people want. And that is really too bad, you know? But that's not what this post is about.<br />
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A couple of years ago there were excited murmurings about their new Brewmaster Mike Gerhart, and how they we're going to be doing some really exciting things...and then they DID! I was lucky enough to have had the chance to meet him and chat with him briefly as he poured at a speed blogging event at Beer Bloggers Conference 2013 in Boston. He was humble, friendly, and clearly loved what he was doing. Before I knew it, the exciting turn OC was taking, happened. First came Double Dose, which was just...incredible. That beer blew my fucking mind. But every single beer since then has been a goddamned home run. Citra Mantra, Kind Ryed, Overgrown, Fresh Slice, and Backseat Berner are all fantastic and I can’t urge you enough to get out there and buy some and try for yourself. They nail each style they attempt. Granted, for the most part, they are all “hop-forward,” but still. Don’t just write them off as “Oh more IPAs” because fuck you, Fresh Slice is the best Belgian IPA I have ever had.<br />
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The thing is, these guys adapted, they changed, and as far as this lowly blogger can see, they have succeeded in a market that continues to grow and bring in people from a lot of different walks of life. From styles, to recipes, to label art, they revamped, and changed what people thought of this once "ho-hum" brewery. They became nearly unrecognizable, like when I squeeze my fat ass into a good looking suit. Seriously though, how many breweries can you name that have so drastically changed tactics and came out on top? Now, how many can you think of that could seriously use a new look, and a relatively new product?<br />
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That’s what I thought. And these guys <i>fucking did it.</i><br />
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All of these thoughts floated into my mushy brain thing while at The Wine Source the other day, picking up ANOTHER 6 pack of “Backseat Berner.” Otter Creek is my go-to, repeat buy, brewery. For someone like me, and a lot of you, that’s kind of a big deal. We are inundated with choices when we peruse the shelves at our local stores. I know I get terribly overwhelmed sometimes. With so many choices it is a rare feat when I exercise my purchasing power by purchasing the same beer twice. But alas, I find myself doing it quite often now with Otter Creek. And it’s weird. But a good weird. Like if you’re out in public and you feel someone touch your butt and you have that half second of panic, and then turn around to confront the butt toucher, and it’s a good friend. I know, weird, right?<br />
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So that brewery that you or I talk shit on for not being exciting? Well sooner or later we might end up looking like complete asshats, because they might be pumping out some of the best beer available on your shelf in a couple years.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-46430065045133565132015-04-23T09:00:00.000-04:002015-06-03T09:03:38.793-04:00Brewfus' Ultimate Guide To getting Drunk In Hot Weather <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A couple of days ago, I got a message on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HipsterBrewfusBlog"><b><span style="color: orange;">Facebook page</span></b></a> saying something along the lines of "Hey, idiot, what do you drink when it's warm outside? TELL ME NOW!" So here I am, busting out this quick piece that has no basis in fact, and is purely subjective.<br />
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My warm weather drinking falls into 4 categories; <b>Gose</b>, <b>Berliner Weisse</b>, <b>Fruit Beers</b>, and <b>Everything Else</b><br />
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<b>Gose:</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.unioncraftbrewing.com/project/old-pro-gose/"><span style="color: orange;">Union Brewing "Old Pro"</span></a>*<br />
<span style="color: orange;"><a href="https://avbc.com/the-kimmie-the-yink-the-holy-gose/"><span style="color: orange;">Anderson Valley "The Kimmie, The Yink, and the Holy Gose"</span></a><br /><a href="https://avbc.com/blood-orange-gose/"><span style="color: orange;">Anderson Valley "Blood Orange"</span></a><br /><a href="http://www.victorybeer.com/beers/kirsch-gose/"><span style="color: orange;">Victory Brewing "Kirsch Gose"</span></a></span><br />
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<b>Berliner Weisse:</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.dogfish.com/brews-spirits/the-brews/seasonal-brews/festina-peche.htm"><span style="color: orange;">Dogfish Head "Festina Peche"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.thebruery.com/beer/hottenroth-berliner-weisse/"><span style="color: orange;">Bruery "Hottenroth"</span></a><br />
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<b>Fruit Beers:</b><br />
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<a href="http://duclaw.com/beer/morgazm/"><span style="color: orange;">DuClaw Brewing "Morgazm"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://duclaw.com/beer/funk/"><span style="color: orange;">DuClaw Brewing "Funk"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.boulevard.com/BoulevardBeers/entwined-ale/"><span style="color: orange;">Boulevard Brewing "Entwined"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://21st-amendment.com/beers/hell-or-high-watermelon/"><span style="color: orange;">21st Amendment Brewing "Hell or High Watermelon"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://sixpoint.com/beers/cycliquids/rad"><span style="color: orange;">Sixpoint "Rad"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.saranac.com/our-beers"><span style="color: orange;">Saranac "Shandy"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.narragansettbeer.com/beer/dels-shandy"><span style="color: orange;">Narragansett Beer "Del's Shandy"</span></a><br />
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<b>Everything Else:</b><br />
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<a href="http://jailbreakbrewing.com/our-beers/"><span style="color: orange;">Jailbreak Brewing "Made Wit Basil"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.victorybeer.com/beers/summerlove/"><span style="color: orange;">Victory Brewing "Summer Love"</span></a>**<br />
<a href="http://sixpoint.com/beers/core/sweetaction"><span style="color: orange;">Sixpoint "Sweet Action"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.narragansettbeer.com/beer/summer-ale"><span style="color: orange;">Narragansett Beer "Summer Ale"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://konabrewingco.com/blog/beers/longboard-lager/"><span style="color: orange;">Kona Brewing "Longboard Lager"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://peakbrewing.com/category/our-brews/"><span style="color: orange;">Peak Organic "Fresh Cut"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.dogfish.com/brews-spirits/the-brews/year-round-brews/sixty-one.htm"><span style="color: orange;">Dogfish Head "Sixty-one"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://flyingdogbrewery.com/?beers=bloodline"><span style="color: orange;">Flying Dog "Bloodline"</span></a><br />
<a href="http://evolutioncraftbrewing.com/BreweryTastingRoom/Beers.aspx"><span style="color: orange;">Evolution Brewing "Summer Session"</span></a><br />
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BAM! This originally started off with about 12 beers scribbled down on a post-it on my desk at work, but turned into this. And I could have kept going, to be completely honest. But there you have it, without going into ANY detail, because then this would be a 58,237 word post. All of these beers are awesome, and at one point or another this summer, will all be drank by me. In my underwear. Outside.<br />
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*COMING IN CANS THIS MAY!<br />
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** A personal favorite of mineAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-79356648798166417572015-03-21T10:11:00.000-04:002015-03-24T11:50:15.079-04:00Hipster Bistros and the Burritos of Doom<a href="http://bmorebistroandbeers.blogspot.com/2015/02/bald-beerded-and-burritod-tour-first.html"><span style="color: orange;">When we last left you...</span></a><br />
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"DOUG, GET THE BURRITO!"<br />
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"I CAN'T! THE BOMB IS GOING TO EXPLODE!"<br />
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"THEN GET ME THE PRESIDENT!"<br />
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"WHAT?!"<br />
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"DOUG JUST GET THE DAMN BURRITO AND BITE IT! TRUST ME!"<br />
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"OK-HERE GOES!"<br />
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...And now, this months installment of<br />
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Before I get into my day spent amongst friends and burritos, let me introduce myself to those of you unfamiliar with my digital presence. Hello! My name is Doug, and when I’m not hunting down burritos and beer with Brewfus, I’m hunting down burritos (and other fine foodstuffs) and beer with my wife and writing about it over at <a href="http://bmorebistroandbeers.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Baltimore Bistros and Beer. </span></a><br />
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A little time has passed since we made the maiden voyage of the Bald, Beerded, and Burrito’d tour, so you can understand why my heart was atingle with anticipation knowing that it was time to put my eau de cilantro cologne on and hunt down another incredible burrito. <br />
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We had originally planned a visit to an establishment in Harbor East, but I was more than happy to oblige Jake’s request to audible when he requested a trip to Holy Frijoles instead. Afterall, it was on these hallowed grounds where we first dined on burritos together and discovered that our love for the folded vessel of meat was beyond the norm and needed to be shared via blog.<br />
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Holy Frijoles does the burrito right. Instead of listing three or four specific burritos on the menu (which they have if you’re not confident with your skills in the burritorial arts), they basically give you a list of options and let you create your all-star burrito. On this day I selected a steak burrito with black beans served drunken; and by drunken I mean smothered in melted cheese and enchilada sauce.<br />
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I loved that burrito. Size-wise, it was just right. It was big enough to send me home stuffed, but small enough that I only had to wait until 10PM to eat dinner after our 1PM burrito luncheon. Nine hour hang time for a burrito is pretty impressive. On the inside I really appreciated the fact that they prepared the steak by cutting the meat in thin slices instead of cubes. Cubes tend to have a rubbery texture, but the thin slices of meat were exceptionally tender. Mixed in with the meat were happy globs of melted cheese, onion, pablano peppers, and the aforementioned black beans.<br />
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Assuming we've convinced you to make a trip to Holy Frijoles, please remember two things when making your visit. First, make sure you order the black beans. I have no problem with refried beans, in fact I love them, but the black beans are fantastic and really add some nice moisture to the program. Second, but most important of all, by no means should you opt out of the pablano peppers. In my estimation, they are what make the Holy Frijoles burrito unique, adding a sweet/spicy factor you don’t find on every burrito. <br />
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Overall, the trip to Holy Frijoles was nothing but good times. The food was great, the company was better, and the beer selection (Jake will give you the details) was more than satisfactory.<br />
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Jake here! Holy Frijoles is a cornerstone of the Hampden neighborhood. It embodies the...alternative culture. You would be hard-pressed to not see at least one person with a handlebar mustache. Yeah, that kind of place. It's handy being just a couple blocks from my front door for when the missus and I are craving some warm tortillas with meat, cheese, and beans. The service is generally good, with the exception of a few missteps here and there in the past, I've always left pretty happy. </div>
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Food wise, its your standard kind of Mexican joint type of menu, but obviously, the focus is burritos. <br />
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On this trip, I got me a chorizo burrito, with black beans and grilled veggies. I too, got it drunken, like my good friend Douglas, because you know, great minds think alike and all that jazz. There isn't much I'm going to say about it that Douglas hasn't already covered. Except in the veggies, there is zucchini, and that really, REALLY threw me off. Not that I don't enjoy zucchini, because for the most part I don't...But they don't have a place in burritos, you fucking hipsters. So there is that.<br />
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The real focus though, is the beer. I don't think we will find another place that has such a good beer selection. Both of us again, mirrored our beer orders, which were a Union Brewing "Duckpin" and a Monument Brewing "51 Rye," both of which were excellent. Last time I was there I ordered a pitcher of Dos Equis Amber, and had a goddamned blast. Judge me, I dare you.<br />
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<a href="http://www.holyfrijoles.net/"><span style="color: orange;">Holy Frijoles</span></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MJk6pmNfdjo/VOyXxkXpG4I/AAAAAAAADF0/wNXT0BnGj8I/s1600/2012-11-06%2B16.58.08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MJk6pmNfdjo/VOyXxkXpG4I/AAAAAAAADF0/wNXT0BnGj8I/s1600/2012-11-06%2B16.58.08.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
When I started this back in December, it stemmed from a day of me going bar to bar. It wasn't my first mission, but it soon became clear that I was going to be drinking as many brown ales as I could find. It had nothing to do with an extreme love of Brown Ales. Quite the opposite, actually. Browns have never actually been I care about. Like at all. Never. I have never left work thinking "YEAH! GIMMIE A BROWN ALE! IT'S GO TIME! At the end of the day, I had drank about three brown ales. That is probably two more brown ales than I have ever previously consumed in one day I could not have been more frustrated with my palate.<br />
<br />
For as long as I have been drinking, I have always tried to make it a
point to try as many new beers as possible. Not so much that I feel I need to like everything, but in a market where are choices seem limitless, I want to experience as much as I can. And yes, I absolutely want to like everything I drink, but I know I can't. The math is against me. I hate math.<br />
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<br />
This bugs me more than it should. The whole uncomfortable feeling in me that stemmed this whole piece: There are entire styles that I just plain do not care
for. More specifically, Brown Ales (and until last year, Barleywines). When I started this beer journey, it was on the heels of pale ales and wittes, from there I jumped into IPAs, then porters came along and lulled me into a sense of warmth and security. Stouts eventually joined the party, as did sours, lagers, pilsners, and practically everything in-between. but I was under that dumb assumption that if I was going to get into this beer thing, I WAS GOING ALL IN, BRO! I felt (stupidly) disingenuous about whatever status I had achieved, because there were two entire styles I could not commit to.<br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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When it came to barleywines, I tried as many as I could get
my hands on. I knew it was a style that I <i>wanted</i> to enjoy, partly because I had already given my
love and adoration to DIPAs. On paper, I should have loved barleywines. But this attempt at courtship quickly became an exercise of punishment I was finding myself more and
more put off with each bottle opened, each bottle sipped, and each bottle left
unfinished. There were countless moments of being heckled “zomg how can you not
like that, that is an amazing beer. You have shitty taste blah blah blah.” <br />
<br />
I caught much less shit with my stance on browns, but that's because..I mean, who really cares about brown ales?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It is perfectly acceptable to not like a beer, and I'm not
sitting here telling you “do what I do, try everything, something will eventually
stick.” That kind of masochistic approach certainly isn't for everyone, but for me it was kind of what I needed. In 2013, barleywines became a style I absolutely adore. It started with Union Brewing's "Chessie." I was
intoxicated with how easy it was to drink, how good it tasted, and how much I
<i>liked</i> it! It was an unforgettable moment for me, finally finding a barleywine that I
liked. It opened up a previously stubbornly closed door for me. I finally got it. Are there still ones I don’t like as much? Sure,
but I'm going to run into that with any style, I suppose. But I tell you what, I definitely
enjoy far more now than I ever had. because of this new found inspiration I'm excited to re-visit some of the more
off-putting ones I drank in the past, mainly Sierra Nevada's "Big Foot," and
Weyerbacher's "Blithering Idiot." So you know, we’ll see how that goes.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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The underlying point of all this nostalgia has brought me back to what spurred
this little post initially. Brown Ales. That deplorable little ale. I have
tried countless browns (actually, about 15 according to Untappd), and still have yet to find one that I could hold up as
a beacon and say "Yes! This is what a brown ale is, this is what I want a brown
ale to be, and this is what a brown ale <i>should</i> be!" Because in so many of the
ones I've tried, there is no real cohesiveness. I can take any 2, put them side by side,
and have 2 completely beers. And that’s frustrating.<br />
<br />
Have I found some that aren't terrible? Absolutely. Looking at my Untapped scores,
I don’t rate them unfairly like some jerks do (the highest rating being a 4, and the lowest was a 3). Just because I don’t like a
particular style, doesn't mean I cant appreciate a good beer.<br />
<br />
I find when I talk about a particular brown ale with someone, more often than not I get the “that’s not what a real brown
tastes like,” which is doubly frustrating, because AT THIS POINT I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT A “REAL”BROWN ALE IS SUPPOSED TO TASTE LIKE! Ugh. But am I going to give up? Fuck no, my stubbornness is to
blame for my new-found love of barleywines, a style that has given me so much
drunken happiness.<br />
<br />
So, with no real purpose to this post, I'm here to tell you,
that just because you like beer, doesn't mean you have to like every beer, or
even every style.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Just, you know, drink what you like.<br />
<br />
Cheers.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Hipster Brewfus<br />
<br />
P.S. I <3 bruins="" oud="" p=""><!--3--><!--3--></3></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-28744922686128580892014-12-02T13:31:00.000-05:002014-12-03T09:28:57.725-05:00Verbose Validation of Verbage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sh-t1Z-D9CY/VH4EBu9SbsI/AAAAAAAAC_s/RaCIforGDCw/s1600/20140621_173328.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sh-t1Z-D9CY/VH4EBu9SbsI/AAAAAAAAC_s/RaCIforGDCw/s1600/20140621_173328.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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I am a beer blogger.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I have the trip to the Beer Bloggers Conference to prove it.
I have the phone calls, texts, e-mails, tweets, Facebook messages and smoke signals
from people asking me for thoughts, and recommendations. I have the URL, and the
alter-ego. I have the late nights, staying up to finish a post. I have the days
at work, where something is just too important and I have to write it right
away (in a blank e-mail format). I’ve had the internal struggle between this
blog feeling like a job, and reminding myself it’s not, and then proceeding to
fuck off for weeks at a time to reset my brain. But then there have been the
times when I WANT this to be my job. I even have business cards. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I have a full on relationship with beer<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I have given this blogging thing so much of myself, and have
a much closer relationship to beer than most folks. Like any type of relationship,
it has been wrought with Adoration and abhorrence. Id say my relationship right now with beer
and blogging is at the most healthiest it has ever been, even given the recent
public “ugh, beer” stance I seem to have taken, but there is far more to it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
With all of this, myself and a slew of other bloggers have decided to tackle
the topic: “How has blogging verbed your relationship with beer?” And like with
most topics, I don’t have a clear answer. Blogging has verbed my relationship
with beers in more ways than I’m probably aware of, I’m sure. It’s been this
weird cyclical adventure that has no end in sight. You are stuck with me
forever.<br />
<br />
Like most people, when this all started for me, I was absolutely <b><i>enthralled</i></b> by it all. I was 100% captivated
by the small, loyal, and growing community that craft beer had. I had never
been a part of anything, really. I love comic books, but with the Internet,
fanboys really ruined it for me. Never been much of a sports fan, no religion,
none of those things people can come together on and celebrate together. Needing
something in my life I could attach to and become a part of, the beer scene was
it. People sending beer to each other, helping hunt down hard to find stuff to
trade for other hard to find stuff, extras, beer it forwards, all of those
things. I signed up for a Beer Advocate account (my first mistake), and dove in
head first. <br />
<br />
The next spoke on this drunken wheel has to be <b><i>submerged</i></b>. Looking back, I can find the first time I took the
proverbial plunge. This little bar in Colchester, CT had put out a Facebook update
about them getting one of the 3 kegs of Ballast Point Sculpin. I scheduled my
whole day around it, went there with a pen and paper, and got busy. I ordered
my beer, and hurried off to a quiet corner. I sat down with my pint glass of
this “rare” beer, sniffing it, writing, sipping it, writing, sniffing it again,
and writing more. I looked like a weirdo, and I didn't care. I ended up writing
a pretty bad post about it. And I couldn't have been more excited. But that’s really
the first time I can pinpoint hunting down stuff, and really going for it. A
few weeks after that, I left work early to get to the beer store to pick up the
newly released Chocolate Truffle Stout from Hooker Brewing. Before I knew it, I was looking for Heady
Topper, Pliney, and Hills Farmstead, the holy trinity of beers that bros need
to hunt down. Because mad raer whaelz, bro.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I bought anything I could get my hands on, spending way too
money and time on this. I was in deep. I was part of this craft beer revolution
that was taking place in our county. I spouted off at length (ignorantly at
that) about lawsuits between breweries about how the brewery suing another one
was a total jerk. I slammed BMC products, I did all the beer snobby stuff that
beer snobs do. I was the proverbial cheerleader.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Remember how I said this was a cyclical adventure? Well,
this wheel has rolled over <b><i>vexed</i>. </b>To
many on the Internet, I am just some cussing, stomping, whining mouth
breather. And uh…that’s not too far from
the truth. But really, I just couldn't sit idly by while I watched this thing that
I love kill itself from the inside out. Between my blog, my social media spots,
and even a guest post, I complained vocally about the constant cheerleading of
beer, and how it can prove to be detrimental. I complained about beer bloggers
not doing their part to be influential and a guiding voice. I complained about
all this Kickstarter nonsense, be it from large breweries, to un-established
breweries. Even attacked Bloggers using it to fund their beercation (read:
conference). I complained about all the crappy beer that is being held in such
high regard because it is local. I complained about most of the same things
that earlier in this relationship, I lauded. I was confused. Where did the purity of this thing I love so much, go?<br />
<br /></div>
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I have since come to appreciate that beer is first and
foremost, a business, and it should be treated as such. I realize that we are
not a part of some revolution, we are consumers. There is nothing wrong with
loving the product, nothing wrong with that at all. But these happy shiny
blinders that people seem to have on, are silly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“<i>Beer evangelism is dangerous. It makes people think that this is a movement. We are not Woody Guthrie or Joe Strummer. We are not Cesar Chavez or Mahatma Gandhi. We're a bunch of slightly drunk middle class people who wear a little too much plaid and don't like shaving and we like good beer. To pretend that you're a rebel because of a purchasing decision is the kind of thing that Apple would love for you to continue to believe, but Steve Jobs wasn't the messiah and neither are the boys at 10 Barrel</i>” </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
– Comment on <a href="http://beervana.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-soul-of-beer.html"><span style="color: orange;">Beervana</span></a></blockquote>
<br />
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And when this eventual wheel comes near its full circle, I’m
at a point where I've reach zen of sorts. I’m in a place where I am completely
<b><i>contented</i></b> with my relationship with beer, both as a drink, and as a hobby. I’m at
ease with where I am in any role to be someone to come to with information. I don’t sit and sniff my beers and swirl and
sip and take notes. I open my beer, and drink it. I don’t care what small
brewery is bought by a bigger one, as long as the beer is good. I don’t care
about whatever super rare release is on the other side of the country, and what
bottles I need to line up to try and trade for it. I don’t care about any of
that. I just want to drink my beer, be surrounded
by people I love, in a place that I like.<br />
<br />
I’m still not sure where this relationship is going. Like most, it has had it's ups and downs, and the future is always unclear. But right now, I feel safe
where I am.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<b>This post is part of multiple essays from Mid-Atlantic beer bloggers focusing on how we feel blogging has impacted our relationship with beer. Make sure to check out these posts, too:</b><br />
<div>
<b><br /></b></div>
<div>
Josh from Short on Beer: <a href="http://shortonbeer.wordpress.com/2014/12/02/beerbloggingrelationshipwithbeer/"><span style="color: orange;">Beer blogging has ______ my relationship with beer.</span></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Douglas from Baltimore Bistros & Beer: <a href="http://bmorebistroandbeers.blogspot.com/2014/12/beer-blogging-and-my-relationship-with.html"><span style="color: orange;">Beer Blogging and My Relationship With Beer</span></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Bryan from This Is Why I'm Drunk: <a href="http://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/2014/12/02/its-my-relationship-and-i-can-cry-if-i-want-to/"><span style="color: orange;">It’s My Relationship and I Can Cry if I Want To</span></a><br />
<br />
Oliver from Literature & Libation: <a href="http://literatureandlibation.com/2014/12/02/whyblog/"><span style="color: orange;">Why Blog?</span></a><br />
<br />
Liz from Naptown Pint: <span style="color: orange;">Which Came First? The Beer or the Blogging?</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-83256340619903230562014-12-01T10:26:00.001-05:002014-12-02T09:02:23.314-05:00Enough.<div class="MsoNormal">
So, last night I got pretty fired up when local brewery,
Frey's, published the newest label of theirs that had been approved. If you
missed it, it was basically a cartoon woman, with her breasts falling out,
called “Heavy Breathing Betty.” </div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q4qOh4IwNBw/VHyGCd0KKSI/AAAAAAAAC_Q/lKJm9Z-jM6g/s1600/67368_1070651199612927_7166867913712190282_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q4qOh4IwNBw/VHyGCd0KKSI/AAAAAAAAC_Q/lKJm9Z-jM6g/s1600/67368_1070651199612927_7166867913712190282_n.jpg" height="200" width="320" /></a></div>
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Pretty goddamned classy, right? I was pretty happy when the majority of the reactions
were negative, and even happier when said brewery reacted in a more positive
way this morning, pulling the artwork, and apologizing.</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1yGbInzXVlE/VHyGuOxjYWI/AAAAAAAAC_Y/nVPr6Imp6vw/s1600/Capture.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1yGbInzXVlE/VHyGuOxjYWI/AAAAAAAAC_Y/nVPr6Imp6vw/s1600/Capture.PNG" height="400" width="356" /></a></div>
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<br />
<br /></div>
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But it doesn't end there. This argument is way bigger than this isolated incident.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The fact that this even happened, is annoying as shit. I was
really hoping breweries were moving past this whole “sex sells” shit, but I guess
I was wrong. There are still plenty of breweries, both large and small, that still
rely on the sexualized woman's body to sell their product. As a dude, it annoys
me to no end, so I can’t even begin to imagine how you women must feel.<br />
<br />
If that’s your strong marketing approach, if that’s your gimmick, than
whatever, I don’t need to buy your beer. I can’t imagine it’s very good, if you
can’t sell it on its own merit and instead rely on “HEY LOOK BOOBS, THAT’S HOT
AMIRITE??” It is not "creative," and it is not "unique." It is lazy, it is disgusting, it is bottom of the barrel type shit. And I'm fucking done with it.<br />
<br />
This event really just reopened a can of worms, and brought it back to the front of
my mind. Now, I am stuck frantically pulling words from the hurricane of thoughts in my brain to write this.<br />
<br />
I don’t have any real answers, but will continue to be vocal against this kind
of gimmick in our community, and hope you will be, also. <br />
<br />
From Liz at <a href="http://naptownpint.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Naptown Pint</span></a>, Tierney over at <a href="http://www.stoutsandstilettos.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Stouts and Stilettos</span></a>, Ashleigh and Kristie at <a href="http://twogirlsonebeer.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Two Girls One Beer</span></a> (who are writing a book!), to Margaret over at <a href="http://www.brewershirts.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Brewer Shirts</span></a>, and Kristina over at <a href="http://www.beermonthclub.com/the-rare-beer-club.htm"><span style="color: orange;">Rare BeerClub</span></a>, and countless other, some of my favorite people in this scene, community,
whatever, are women. And all I want is for them to be able to be looked at as
another member in the community, not a member that has boobs.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There are a million things that I want to say, but can't explain myself monosyllabically enough for the target audience of this post to understand. So I will end it with this: This is my plea to breweries. Knock it off. Seriously, fucking stop already. We do not need this. I, and many others, I’m sure, will just plain stop buying your beer. And then
where will you be? Adapt, and grow the hell up already.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Love,</div>
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Hipster Brewfus</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-42665857212306800122014-11-26T10:13:00.003-05:002014-11-26T11:19:24.040-05:00Hipster Brewfus Gives Thanks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I’m not being a dickhead on the internet, or designing
things that clean the air so you can do the breathing good, or yelling at
people on Xbox life for jumping and going directly to prone in COD, or just
being generally obnoxious…I like to read a select few blogs. One of them is “<a href="http://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/2014/11/26/the-grateful-challenge-beer-edition/"><span style="color: orange;">This Is Why I’m Drunk</span></a>”<br />
<br />
This morning, he copied someone, and now I’m copying him in a “Grateful Challenge.”
The idea is to list everything you are grateful for, in 10 minutes. It’s super
hard, because I hate being timed in anything, and being put on the spot, even
if its myself putting myself on the spot, is uncomfortable. So here’s what I got.<br />
<br />
Feel free to comment on the Facebook or Twitters or here on the blog with what
YOU are thankful for!<br />
<br />
Happy thanksgiving, you bunch of jerks. Hipster Brewfus loves you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
1. My liver, who filters out the badness, and stays strong through the constant barrage<br />
<br />
2. My wife who puts up with it all, and is always willing to try whatever it is I’m sipping on.<br />
<br />
3. <a href="http://www.nepenthehomebrew.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Nepenthe Homebrew</span></a>, for giving me safe haven and like-minded people to share and brew with. And for being all around good people, and good friends.<br />
<br />
4. Baltimore city for embracing me and becoming my new home. I feel like I fit right in.<br />
<br />
5. Maryland beer, for making such delicious local drinks that I can share with people near and far and constantly inspire me.<br />
<br />
6. Friendships forged between me and breweries, brewers, and fellow drinkers. Beer has brought me more than just hangovers.<br />
<br />
7. <a href="https://twitter.com/HipsterBrewfus"><span style="color: orange;">Twitter</span></a>, for letting me be a jerk in 140 characters<br />
<br />
8. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HipsterBrewfusBlog" style="color: orange;">Facebook</a>, for letting me be a jerk in MORE than 140 characters, including pictures<br />
<br />
9. <a href="http://instagram.com/hipsterbrewfus"><span style="color: orange;">Instagram</span></a>, for constantly reminding me that I’m not a photographer, but at least once a week, I can pretend.<br />
<br />
10. <a href="http://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Bryan</span></a> and <a href="http://literatureandlibation.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Oliver</span></a> for reminding me that I am an awful writer, but I can always get better<br />
<br />
11. <a href="http://bmorebistroandbeers.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Douglas</span> </a>for being my bearded brother with whom I can discuss everything from how much we love beer, to how much we hate it. For reminding me that I don’t always have to agree on everything even though we look alike, and that depression is ok, and its good to have someone you can talk about it with.<br />
<br />
12. CCMABBD, The Continental Congress of Mid Atlantic Beer Bloggers. It has developed some great friendships within our small blogging community, and we all support one another.<br />
<br />
13. My readers of words, without you, I’d just be a drunk idiot with a keyboard. But with you, I’m a drunk idiot with a keyboard who has people that read his bad writings.<br />
<br />
14. My followers of Tweets, because I seriously have SO much fun on that thing.<br />
<br />
15. My likers of Facebook, because it is GODDAMNED hard to get a large reach, and every like you give me, every comment, makes the Hipster Brewfus name spread that much further<br />
<br />
16. People who don’t have a PG rated sense of humor. Because I don’t have one. And I am not for the tame of heart.<br />
<br />
17. People who realize I am tongue in cheek. You get me. You understand what this whole thing is about.<br />
<br />
18. The ability to separate me from Hipster Brewfus. Because everyone is pleasantly surprised with my teddy bear qualities when they meet me.<br />
<br />
19. My cell phone. For being my camera to take pictures of all things beer, my gps for getting me to all places beer, and my message thingy, for all drunk calls and texts, influenced by beer<br />
<br />
20. The internet, for giving me this awful voice, with a small, but fierce reach.<br />
<br />
21. Sour beers, because I love you<br />
<br />
22. IPAs, because I love you, too<br />
<br />
23. Otter Creek and Longtrail, for donating beers to my wedding,and for being one of the founders of my love of intoxication<br />
<br />
24. Tulip glasses, because fuck pint glasses.<br />
<br />
25. Brewers, because without you, I’d have a healthy liver and sobriety. And that shit is for the birds.<br />
<br />
26. Netflix, because binge watching and binge drinking go together perfectly.<br />
<br />
27. Xbox, because I seriously love drinking and yelling at people. Seriously, stop fucking dropping to prone or jumping when you shoot at me in COD, I hate it. You pansies.<br />
<br />
28. My car. Because you get me to places that have the beer.<br />
<br />
29. My job, because you give me monies to buy the beer.<br />
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30. My kid, because she very patient with me when I take her to breweries<br />
<br />
31. Exercise, because even though I don’t use you, I know you exist. Taunting me.<br />
<br />
32. College roommates, who wouldn't let me drink shitty beer. Like Icehouse.<br />
<br />
33. My stubbornness, because it keeps me wanting more, all the time. More beer, more styles, more brews, I want to try them all like some kind of beer demon.<br />
<br />
34. FedEx for letting me ship “books” to other people (psst, it’s really beer).<br />
<br />
35. Untappd, for rewarding my drunkenness with playful badges.<br />
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36. My patio, for giving me my favorite place to drink when the weather is nice out<br />
<br />
37. Wine Source, for being my local beer store, 3 blocks from my house, and having a fantastic selection<br />
<br />
38. Connecticut, because it’s where this whole crazy thing started<br />
<br />
39. <span style="color: orange;"><a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23CTBrewcrew&src=typd"><span style="color: orange;">#CtBrewCrew</span></a> </span>because you guys show me love, even though I up and left you all.<br />
<br />
40. Music, because you’re my first love, and often always present while drinking.<br />
<br />
And there we have it, folks. 10 minutes, 40 things I'm thankful for. And a hand turkey drawing. I'm sure you might be thinking "WHY ARENT YOU THANKFUL FOR ME!?" Just know, I probably am, BUT BEING TIMED IS STRESSFUL!<br />
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Have a great, and safe Thanksgiving!<br />
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Other bloggers giving thanks:<br /><br />Douglas Smiley from "Baltimore Bistros and Beer": <span style="color: orange;"><a href="http://bmorebistroandbeers.blogspot.com/2014/11/thank-you-come-again.html">Thank You, Come Again</a></span>Bryan D. Roth from "This Is Why I'm Drunk": <a href="http://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/2014/11/26/the-grateful-challenge-beer-edition/"><span style="color: orange;">The Grateful Challenge: Beer Edition</span></a><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-69159772110899466122014-10-24T12:07:00.003-04:002014-10-25T06:32:58.576-04:00Won't Let Me ForgetIt's not the first time you've seen me weep.<br />
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This time is different though. This time you can't see because you're lying in front of me on the ground, your essence pouring from your neck. Your neck. A snippet of an Escher sketch, with its unnatural angles. I look down, trying to take it all in, hating what I see, and wanting to look away.<br />
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How could I have done this?<br />
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I drop to my knees by your side, knocked down by the guilt of what I have done. Nausea hits me as the weight of the situation clambers up onto my back. Your subtle curves ruined by my own carelessness. My hand hovers over the lifeless pile of you, but I can't, won't touch. Memories of you flood into my mind. Memories of you that I thought had dimmed with time.<br />
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I can recall the first time I saw you, 13 years ago. Some strangers house. I didn't know anyone, really, but there you were. Sultry, bathed in the shadows of a dozen people crammed into one room, as I made my way over to you. You sat there patiently, in black and red, until I took you in my hand and made our escape. I didn't know you, you didn't know me. But I needed to enjoy your company, so I could lose myself in something, fast forward this miserable night.<br />
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Your body shouldn't look like this. I bury the balls of my hand into my sockets, trying to rub the sight out. It cant be unseen. "I was drunk." I mumble. I need to believe that. It feels good to recede into the warmth of my memories, where the seconds become small millenniums, and I'm left free to not have to handle the consequences of my careless actions.</div>
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There were countless times when I nearly approached you, only to turn heel. I had made my judgment about you based off of one night. Unfair. I still yearned to give you another shot. I yearned to give you another shot. I felt I had something to prove to you. To myself.</div>
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There came a night, years down the road, when I would finally pulled you into me. I remember that exact moment. Fruit perfume, with beads of sweat running down your body. 100 degrees outside, but you were cool. You were mine.<br />
<br />
Reality hits. You are still broken. A strange combination of frustration and fondness creeps in. The nights you left me curled up on the bathroom floor. The nights we embraced. The times I kicked you out of my life, only to open the door to you. You, bathed in light. And I let let you back in. I don't know how to say no to you when you get me going.<br />
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Tonight I lost control. And tonight, you paid for it.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-2021090522379714302014-10-18T23:24:00.003-04:002014-10-20T11:48:34.616-04:00The Session #90 Post-Fight Round Up (AKA: Why I now hate blogging.)<b><i>It is 10:58, October 18th. I am sucking down a 'Gansett Autocrat Coffee Milk Stout. I have thrown my binary hands up in the air because I just don't know what to do anymore. Back in August, I was host to The Session. Part of my responsibility in that, was writing the round up of all the different entries, and I started it. And as I chugged along in reading and commenting and reading and commenting and reading and commenting, I gave up.<br /><br />I just couldn't do it anymore. While beer blogging is full of a lot of amazing writers (See: <a href="http://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/"><span style="color: orange;">This Is Why I'm Drunk</span> </a>or <a href="http://literatureandlibation.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Literature and Libation</span></a>), there is a plethora of overwhelming banality. When flooded with it, it becomes too much. Too many poorly written posts. Too many posts that just tell you things instead of showing you. Too much of everything I've been complaining about, and not doing anything to fix.<br /><br />I got about halfway through the posts, I closed my laptop and walked away from blogging for the next few months.<br /><br />I don't know where I'm going, what I'm going to do, or anything of the sort. But dammit, bloggers, you need to step your games up. Stop cheerleading all the goddamned time.</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<b><i>-HB</i></b><br />
<br />
And here comes the round-up...<br />
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I'm going to take some partial blame here, while I kept my announcement pretty one dimensional, I had hopes and aspirations for some exciting writing. I wanted more than just a negative beer review.I just wanted some honesty, that's all. Again, I take full responsibility for the apparent vagueness of my announcement. Some of you were able to rise to the challenge, some of some of you stayed in the same corner from which I was trying to get you to stay out of, and some of you seemed to take umbrage by what I asked of you.<br />
<br />
Yeah, I get it, I come off as uncouth, unintelligent, and boisterous. I get it., I say "fuck" a lot, and you probably didn't want to associate with a mouth breather like me, so you took this session as a chance to mount your moral high horse and look down at me. "I'm not going to write a 'fuck' laced tirade just for the sake of writing a 'fuck' laced tirade." some of you seem to be saying.<br />
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Ugh.<br />
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Kicking it off, Vincent from<span style="color: orange;"> <a href="http://bierbattered.com/2014/07/31/the-session-the-worst-beer-you-forced-yourself-to-drink-the-whole-bottle-of/"><span style="color: orange;">Bier Battered</span></a></span> struggled with Stone Brewing's Vertical Epic 12.12.12, which I found amusing, since the beer that first inspired me years ago to indulge in the negative from time to time, was the Vertical Epic 11.11.11. He did a good job in highlighting the negative aspects, and not just saying "I hate this beer, because." The last sentence really summed up a thought I'm sure most people have flirted with at one point: "<i>If you ever needed proof that ratings could be effected by limited releases or rarity, look no further. This release is currently holding at 97% rating on Rate beer and 88% on BA." </i>But damn, this entry was nigh on unreadable.<br />
<i><br /></i>
Breandán from <a href="http://belgiansmaak.com/black-albert-de-struise-brouwers/"><span style="color: orange;">Belgian Smaak</span></a> gave me a post that after reading a couple times, I ended up liking way more than I thought I would. I really enjoyed the brewery history, and the brewers own admission that these beers just aren't for everyone. The beer highlighted certainly seems like it's one that would put up quite the challenge, but one I would certainly like to tackle. A different approach from what I was expecting, and very welcomed.<br />
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<a href="http://thebeernut.blogspot.com/2014/08/put-em-up.html"><span style="color: orange;">The Beer Nut</span></a> started off with what I thought was going to be a unique approach; An attack on an entire style (he had brought up Black IPAs). I got REALLY excited...but I was wrong. He decided to "put 'em up" against a specific beer (Schoppe Bräu's Roggen Roll Ale). What a fight this one turned out to be! There is something about "sweet incense mixed with balsamic vinegar" that solidifies the decision that this is a beer I will never, ever pick a fight with.</div>
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Bryan from <a href="http://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/2014/08/01/the-fighter/"><span style="color: orange;">This Is Why I'm Drunk</span></a> fucking nailed it. He gave me what I guess I had been secretly hoping for since coming up with the idea for the topic. Not only did he flex his imagination muscles, he was able to tie it into a very personal post he had done for a previous Sessions. You guys think I just want you to angrily shout via text at some beer? No. I want you to tap into an area of yourself that you didn't think you were capable of, and put out something outstanding. Something that surprises even yourself. Bryan didn't think this post was what I wanted, and thought that maybe he half-assed it. Nope. This hit every note on what I was hoping for. Reading this, I'm reminded of some dingy, David Fincher-esque setting. Bloody tape strewn about the floor, and a fighter who's got nothing left, but is expected to bring everything to the table. It was a struggle to read, not because it was poorly written, but because he tapped into a despair so many people forget exists, or just pretend doesn't.<br />
<br />
This one was a surprise right off the bat. Not only had I never heard of <a href="http://thesoutherncommittee.wordpress.com/2014/08/01/the-session-90-beer-fight-club/"><span style="color: orange;">The Southern Committee</span></a>, but I got a post that played to exactly what I wanted, and I have never had any interaction with Blake prior. Maybe there is some brightness left in the world of blogging. It was refreshing to see someone with a bit of fight left in them, even when it looked like the beer might have had an early KO. A new blogger (to me) came out swinging and blew away the majority of you established guys I've seen floating around for some time. Y'all need to step your game up.<br />
<br />
And then there was this stupid shit form <a href="http://beer-runner.blogspot.com/2014/08/the-session-90-fighting-without-fighting.html"><span style="color: orange;">The Beer Runner</span></a>, who completely missed the entire fucking point of everything, ever. Someone else summed it up perfectly for me in two textual soundbites:<br />
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"<i>His response to your topic is the problem of which you write about in your prompt.<br />and he realizes that.<br /><br />and shrugs his shoulders.<br /><br />and then my head explodes.</i>"<br />
<br />
And then this anecdote is the perfect example:<br />
<br />
"<i>If I go to an event or brewery and have a bad experience, I won't write about it. I want to share the positives of the industry, but I'd rather not highlight the bad."<br /><br />I didn't want to get into a discussion about it, because it would have gone on far too long and I had limited time, but I fear that's a common thought. It's cliched at this point, but that kind of sentiment keeps popping up - people feel it's their responsibility to talk about how awesome things are, but never veer into darker territory.<br /><br />Like Beer Runner - why is it bad to go on a tirade? Or even offer dissent? <br /><br />Reading through some of the responses, it seems people just pick an easily bashable beer, have at it, then everyone chimes in with a "Oh yeah, that beer SUCKED!</i>"</div>
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Beer Runner, you failed miserably. I see what you did. You took the moral high road, you showed the blogging community that you are obviously better because you are not simmering with unfathomable rage. I see that, and say...thanks for wasting my time, you suck, and you are everything that is wrong in beer blogging.</div>
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Moving along...</div>
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Doug, my good friend from <a href="http://bmorebistroandbeers.blogspot.com/2014/08/its-session-time-and-many-session-has.html"><span style="color: orange;">Baltimore Bistros & Beer</span></a> is someone who I have talked about this topic with at length over a series of multiple discussions. We have bounced ideas off each other, we have struggled to make sense of our own thoughts and words, and have been able to add a of clarity when the other needed it. Back in April, when we both had really reached our limit of "HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY," he invited me to <a href="http://bmorebistroandbeers.blogspot.com/2014/04/guest-post-by-hipster-brewfus-craft.html"><span style="color: orange;">guest post</span></a> on his site about it. He let me vent, and it felt so good. With all that said, it was a lot of fun to read about his battle with a particularly fantastic sour beer. It's funny because I mean, it's such a damn good beer, but the fact that I know this dude really enjoys sour beers now shows a maturation that I can relate to. Doug has a talent of making each post very personal, and it's one of my favorite things about his blog.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-77277045283213585762014-08-12T21:32:00.000-04:002014-08-19T09:45:26.408-04:00One Word Of Advice For The Craft Beer NewbieWould you just slow down a minute? I'm trying to tell you something.<br />
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Look- LOOK WOULD YOU LISTEN? Put your goddamned beer down, and shut up.<br />
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Yeah, I know, you really like that IPA.<br />
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What? Yes, I've heard of Heady Topper.<br />
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Why do you want to go to Portland?<br />
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Because it's the beer capital of the United State? [<i>laugh</i>] Oh shut up. Look, shut up, you only just had your first beer that is half way decent. Like just had it, 20 minutes ago. Would you just relax? Thank you.<br />
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Yeah, beer is great. Yeah, it's exciting to learn about the hops and the grains and the this and the that, but you know what you got to learn before all of that? Before the shit that doesn't matter? Before the top 10 this, or the fucking Bro's say that or any of that?<br />
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No. What? No. Not that at ALL. Patience, dude. That's why I keep telling you to shut up, so you can hear what I'm trying to say.<br />
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Yes, I know I'm the furthest thing from sage-like, but I do have SOME wisdom. And that tasty little nugget, that one word, that singular utterance that has taught me the most. Patience. I understand that beer is really exciting, and that you just want to go all in.If anyone gets it, trust me, it's me. Lately though, I've learned more from a slow drink in a quiet place, than I have in all my neckbeard filled beer fests.<br />
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Neckbeards. Yeah. It's a term you'll come to learn.<br />
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Patience. It's really all I have to offer you. Beer is something that I can see getting excited about in all kinds of different facets, and just like there is a lot to get excited about, there is just as much to sit the fuck down and be patient about. But seeing as You are annoying the shit out of me, I'm just going to focus on the two most important ones. Well, at least important to me.<br />
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Like what? Well, one of the first things I learned to be patient with is my consumption. Not just in a "hey, slow down before you get all kinds of shit-faced!" Patient in a more, "hey, why don't you slow down and pay attention to what you're drinking." While I had been drinking for a while, and into craft for a while, the first beer that ever really spoke to me and made me pay attention was Otter Creek's "Stovepipe Porter." As I sat and drank it, with no intention other than enjoying the album I was listening to, the flavors really bloomed and made me stop what I was doing and take my time. With each sip, I let the beer sit in my mouth, rolling over my tongue while I tried to discern all the different flavors I was discovering. I sat with that one pint for nearly an hour, and it still stands as one of the best beers I have ever had.<br />
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Yeah, I know it's "only an Otter Creek" but there is more to beer than just drinking it. You'll learn that one day, but that's not what I'm trying to pound into your simple mind.<br />
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What album was I listening to? I think it was "Extraordinary Machine."<br />
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The last thing I'll tell you about, is-OH MY GO PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE DOWN AND GET OFF OF BEER ADVOCATE! Beer Advocate is run by a couple of douche bags, and one of them has some wretched wife, and you really should stay far the fuck away from that site. I promise you, it wont do you much good. This though, ironically kind of filters into the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. Hype..but I mean, not HYPE...more...Ugh. Look, I know you see all this big exciting beers, all these rare beers, one-off and all that shit people are clamoring over one other to get their greedy little hands on.<br />
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I promise you, the super whaelz you want to get your hands on are very good. BUT...I also promise you that there are other beers available to you that are just as good. I guess that's where patience comes into this one. Spend some time drinking whats around you before you go out and attempt to trade away your first born from some Heady Topper or whatever you nerds are into these days. Besides, that Heady Topper? There are plenty of other easily available DIPAs that are just as good. Seriously, dude, just explore the beers that are available to you locally. I don't mean be the guy who is ALL LOCAL, ALL THE TIME! But your local beer store will have a pretty good selection, I bet. Play with that first. Find the flavors you like, find your style preference, hell, find a brewery that seems to play to your own tastes. but take your time doing it. Beer is always going to be there. There is no need to jump in liver first, buying up and consuming it all in one fell swoop. Beer is a really fun thing to discover if you just slow the fuck down and show a little restraint.<br />
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Get off those forums, and calm yourself. I promise, it may be some time not in the near future, but you will be able to come across any of those super raer beerz, you'll try it, and wonder "that's it?"<br />
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But in order to do that, you would have needed to stop fidgeting and be able to actually listen. But you didn't which explains why your stupid-ass is paying $40 for some bottle at a bar that is half that on the shelf.<br />
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What? No. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. So fucking what if it's 11% ABV. Higher ABV is not equal to better beer. Neither is higher price. Neither is IBUs. And lastly, neither is a line of dorks outside the brewery at 8 in the morning...But again, that kind of stuff is a lesson for another day.<br />
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<i>This post is the second part of what will be multiple essays from a variety of Mid-Atlantic bloggers looking to offer one word of advice for those of us who might be new to "craft" beer. Check in with <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/">O</a>liver from <a href="http://literatureandlibation.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Literature and Libation</span></a> tomorrow to see what he thinks.</i><br />
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<i>Other posts in this collaboration: <br />Doug from Baltimore Bistros and Beer on "<a href="http://bmorebistroandbeers.blogspot.com/2014/08/one-word-of-advice-for-craft-beer-newbie.html"><span style="color: orange;">Craft</span></a>"<br />Oliver from Literature and Libation on "<a href="http://literatureandlibation.com/2014/08/13/words-wort-and-wisdom/"><span style="color: orange;">Reciprocate</span></a>"<br />Andrew from Das Ale House on "<a href="http://dasalehaus.com/2014/08/14/drink-up-noob/#comment-1512"><span style="color: orange;">Drink</span></a>"</i><br />
<i>Bryan from This Is Why I’m Drunk on "<a href="http://thisiswhyimdrunk.wordpress.com/2014/08/15/one-word-of-advice-for-the-craft-beer-newbie/"><span style="color: orange;">Live</span></a>"<br />Josh from Short On Beer on "<a href="http://shortonbeer.wordpress.com/2014/08/18/advice-to-newbies/"><span style="color: orange;">Journey</span></a>"<br />Liz from Naptown Pint on "<a href="http://www.naptownpint.com/post/95188858696/one-word-of-advice-to-craft-beer-newbies-when-i"><span style="color: orange;">Relax</span></a>"</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-61527190125473781692014-08-01T07:00:00.000-04:002014-08-01T09:43:09.052-04:00The Sessions #90: I'm Liable To Bite Your Goddamn Ear Off.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Did you catch the fight last night? Oh man it was a knock down, drag out, dirty fight. Hipster Brewfus, a relative new-comer, took on The Beer Industry. Man...it was bloody.<br />
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In the first round, Hipster bobbed and weaved around his competitor, trying to get a feel for the speed and strength of his opponent. A few years ago, this fight would have been a bit easier to call from the beginning, but it's plain to see that Beer has certainly bulked up the last couple years, and we really had no idea how this would end. A few moments of dancing around the outside went by before Brewfus moved in for a quick jab at mediocre breweries. Oh, this is shaping up to be good- Hipster balances on his right foot, ducking the slow, lazy blows, and moves in deftly, his words hit before Beer even knows whats happening<br />
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<i>So this is what our culture has come to? You brew a few decent batches of beer, and you think you've got what it takes to step to the plate among those who have earned their right to be here? You've got friends who tell you the beer is amazing, but in the same breath will tell you Yuengling is one of the best beers.</i><br />
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<i>Yeah, I understand all brewers have to start somewhere, but you' re bringing absolutely nothing new to that plate. Oh, you make an IPA? Fantastic, it's half as good as any of the other 900 IPAs that are on the shelf right now. But your brother-in-law said it was one of the best beers he's ever had? You my friend, have an issue of people not being honest with you, or even knowing what the fuck they are talking about.</i><br />
<i><br /></i><i>In this make believe bubble we are dealing with now, we have breweries popping up at an alarming rate. I</i><i>n the words of the great George Carlin, "there is bound to be a few winners, and a whole lot of losers."</i><i><br /><br />And you know what? I'm rooting for the losers.</i><br />
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<i>You got stars in your eyes, son. You see the explosion of craft beer, and you want in on it. I don't blame you, it seems like an easy cash grab, but you simply lack the skills and imagination to have any sort of impact.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>Christ, that looked like it hurt. Brewfus danced back, and waited for the sound of the bell, not wanting to exhaust himself right off the bat.<br />
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At the start of the second round, Beer came out swinging!<br />
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<i>More is better! You have to support local breweries! You love beer, you have to support it!</i><br />
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Beer certainly caught Brewfus off-guard, but he quickly composed himself, and while leading with his left hand, went in for the body...<br />
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<i>Nope, that's where you are wrong, more IS NOT always better. Would you rather have 1000 mediocre breweries with a whole lot of the same, or 500 breweries who know what they're doing, and can make beers worth getting excited for?</i><br />
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<i>And local breweries? Yeah, I'm all for them, when they are deserving of being supported. I'm not going to blindly pump my money into a business, just because they are down the road from me. That's just blind stupidity. I give my money to companies that deserve it, to companies that have shown hey make a product worth supporting, be it down the street, or across the continent.</i><i> See that shelf there at your local beer store? That's your competition. You have to pit your 4 shitty, boring beers against a veritable plethora of choices of styles, flavors, and quality. You think you really have what it takes? Yeah, you're local, but you certainly aren't captivating.<br /><br />I love beer, and as a consumer, I don't have to do shit other than support my preferences, and reward those who make a superior product, with my dollars.</i><br />
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Brewfus really put his body into those last few blows, and sent Beer sprawling. But just as soon as it hit the ground, Beer was right back up, reeling back, and about to lay it on Brewfus. Before any of that beating could happen, the bell rang, sounding the end of the second round. With a shit-eating grin, Brewfus glanced over at Beer and blew it a kiss, taunting it. Beer really needed to change it's approach, because it's became blatantly obvious, Brewfus was going for blood.<br />
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At the beginning of the third round, Brewfus hung back, wanting to see what Beer was going to do. With a speed we hadn't seen, Beer danced around Brewfus and smacked him with a hard right hook across the face...<br />
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<i>I got a legion of bloggers, motherfucker. I got bloggers all over the world espousing the merits of how awesome I am! AND YOU ARE A BLOGGER! You dedicate your time, money, and energy to ME, to making sure I can be the best. How are you gonna start beating on me?</i><br />
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Finding solace against the ropes, getting out of Beers barrage of hits, Brewfus saw the blood dripping down his eye. Beer had drawn first blood, and had Brewfus confused.<br />
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Stumbling back across the mat, Brewfus went on the defense...<br />
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<i>How am I going to start beating on you? Easily! Look at the amount of bloggers there are, and then look at the quality of writing coming from them. </i><br />
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Brewfus seemed to be getting his bearings back as he pivoted and went back to throwing actual punches...<br />
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<i>How many motherfuckers out there are just writing reviews? And how many of those reviews are painfully boring to read. You aren't engaging me, you aren't doing a damn thing to keep my attention. I have no reason to read you. A beer review? Edgy. Because there aren't literally thousands of reviews on any other rating site about whatever shelf beer you had last night. You want to talk about mouth-feel? Fuck your mouth-feel. How does the beer look? Who gives a shit? You are so painfully boring. Do something else, anything else. Show me why I should get excited for this beer. Tell me a story about this beer. Do a million other things than write your monosyllabic review of this beer that I could care less about. And while we are at it, step up your writing game. Use your imagination, use a thesaurus, use the plethora of information available at the tips of fingers to do something to make your writing unique. Have a voice. When you can write 1,000 words, and not have anything to say, there's a huge disconnect. </i><br />
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With laser focus, and gritted teeth, Brewfus wasn't letting up...<br />
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<i>And what the FUCK is the deal with crowd sourcing your Beer Blogger Conference vacation? Look, I went</i><i> to the Beer Bloggers Conference in 2013, and as educational as it was, it was a vacation. To be more specific, a 3 day blur of booze, cheese, and a riotously good time. But I wouldn't ever have the lack of self-awareness and tact to ask OTHER people to send me across the country to get drunk. It's not for a "good cause" it's because you obviously didn't manage your money in a manner that allowed you the privilege to take the trip. It is not some sort of right. It's something you have to earn, something YOU have to make happen through your own means. The thought of you begging other people for money for this frivolous expense infuriates me to no end, and fuels my unrelenting attack on you.</i><br />
<i><br />You are shameless in your panhandling. And at the end of the day, you have nothing to offer to anyone who actually funds your trip. And the worst part is; THERE ARE PEOPLE FUNDING YOUR TRIP. I have almost as little respect for them, as I do for you. What do you have to offer to the people pouring money in your pocket? If you learned anything from your other trips, your blog would have improved by now, and it hasn't. Your words are still simplistic, and you still haven't offered anything to the world of beer blogging worth getting even slightly excited for.<br /><br />Regardless of my feelings, you'll reach your goal, and people will call me some terrible things. Let them, because I can rest with the knowledge that when push came to shove, I knew I couldn't make the trip, and bowed out gracefully. I didn't make a mockery of both myself, and beer bloggers, by begging for money. Obviously, you haven't heard "No" enough times in your life. You have no humility. You got a free fucking ride last year, and what? You just thought "Well shit, I'll do it again?"<br /><br />Fuck. You.</i><br />
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<i>You don't deserve this, you haven't earned this, and all I can do is hope for your failure in this endeavor, Active Beer Geek. Maybe you can take the money you earn, and invest in some classes about fiscal responsibility. And then perhaps learn how to set a goal, and achieve it through hard work, and a bit of frugality.<br /><br />You know what most people do when they cant afford something they want (and not need)? Go without it. Your preponderance shows that you are obviously above the means of us normal people.</i><br />
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At this point the crowd was on their feet as Beer swayed stupidly, and collapsed onto itself in a puddle on the mat.<br />
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Brewfus didn't wait around, and as the count neared 10, and the final bell rang, he had already tossed off his gloves, and disappeared, headed back to his room.<br />
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You know, we all thought that was the last we would see of him, until he stormed in on the post-fight press conference, grabbing the microphone, and jabbing an angry finger at the crowd. What he said, pretty much took the breath right out of the audience.<br />
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"<i>Look, you all seem to live in this happy-go-lucky word, where nothing bad is ever made, all the beer is good beer, and everyone should praise everything. Well fuck that. That is not a world I want to live in, and I will happily burn any bridge to that world that I am connected to. Too many of you are full of shit, and you're sitting there gripping your phone, laying on praise where it doesn't deserve to have the faintest hint of existence. You ride these breweries dicks hard, but we all know what you want. What you've been secretly hoping for the whole time. Probably one of the reasons you got into this in the first place; free shit. I suppose I can't argue your logic though. If you jerk anything off long enough, you're going to get whats coming to you.</i><br />
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<i>Apparently I missed the memo though, because I've learned that with a whole lot of no hard work, a half-assed video, nothing to offer, and an upturned palm, you can get pretty far.</i><br />
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<i>The only way things get better, is when you get rid of all the bullshit that is plaguing it. But the craft beer world seems to think that piling it on instead, is the answer.</i>"<br />
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After that, he dropped the proverbial mic, and walked out the way he came, leaving us all slack-jawed, and stupid-eyed. I can not <i>wait</i> for the rematch.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-39654650467748441382014-07-11T10:13:00.000-04:002014-07-31T08:11:31.500-04:00The Session #90: Beer Fight Club<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>The Session, a.k.a. Beer Blogging Friday, is an opportunity once a month for beer bloggers from around the world to get together and write from their own unique perspective on a single topic. Each month, a different beer blogger hosts the Session, chooses a topic and creates a round-up listing all of the participants, along with a short pithy critique of each entry. Bill, The self proclaimed "Pittsburgh Beer Snob" was your host last month, and much like<span style="color: orange;"> <a href="http://www.pittsburghbeersnob.com/2014/06/the-session-no-89-announcement.html"><span style="color: orange;">his chosen topic</span></a></span>, he is now history.</i><br />
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I am Hipster Brewfus. A lot of you know what I'm about. What you don't know, is that I am incredibly bored by the happy-go-lucky nature of beer blogging. This is my opportunity to force you out of your comfort zone, and inject a little bit of hostility into this beer-laden world of sunshine and rainbows. It's time to knuckle up.</div>
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The idea for this session stemmed from a couple of few places. The first being <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2012/06/6-stone-vertical-epic-111111.html"><span style="color: orange;">my first experience</span></a> with a bottle of Stone Brewing Vertical Epic 11-11-11. I have never wanted to punch a beer so hard in its glassy face before. The second item is my growing frustration with the general acceptance that all craft beer is good beer, and that any hint of negativity will do damage to our burgeoning scene. Lastly, a lot of the topics on The Session lately have been pretty unimaginative, uninspired, and uninteresting. </div>
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The premise is this:<br />
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Have you ever drank a beer that became a battle, more than an enjoyable experience? Maybe a beer that was far bigger than you had anticipated? Something you felt determined to drink, just so you can say you conquered that son of a bitch, and you are all that is powerful. Or perhaps it is something that is just so bad, all you want to do is slap it around a bit. Or maybe you were on the verge of passing out, but you just wanted that one last beer, and the valiant struggle between taste bud fulfillment and the velvety embrace of sleep that ensued.<br />
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You picking up what I'm putting down?</div>
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It's time put down whatever praise you were about to dole out, and serve up a nice can of ass whupping.</div>
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More info can be found here: <a href="http://brookstonbeerbulletin.com/the-sessions/"><span style="color: orange;">The Sessions</span></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-51102254742017452952014-07-11T10:08:00.000-04:002014-08-15T09:01:45.697-04:00Super Ticket Giveaway So You can get Drunk Outdoors And Pass Out In The Hot Sun<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm keeping this short and sweet. I have a buttload of tickets to giveaway to this years Annapolis Craft beer & Music Festival.<br />
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Every Friday until September 12th, I will be giving out pairs of tickets. You win, your name goes on a list, you pick up your tickets t the event office the day of the event, and you have a great time, at a great beer fest.<br />
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Here is the schedule as of now, for the giveaway MADNESS<br />
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<b><strike>July 11th (2 Tickets) - Beer Haiku</strike> <span style="color: red;">Winner picked!</span></b><br />
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<b><strike>July 18th (2 Tickets) - Brewfus Drawing (Draw a one panel caricature of me. Make it stupid as hell, I don't care. not looking for incredible artistry, just something funny. It could be a stick figure for all I care). Tag #hipsterbrewfus on Instagram, Twitter or post the picture to my Facebook page! </strike><span style="color: red;">Winner Picked!</span></b><br />
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<b><strike>July 25th (2 Tickets) Random drawing!</strike><span style="color: red;"> Winner Picked!</span></b><br />
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<b>August 15th (2 Pairs Of Tickets)</b><b> - All I want is your best anagram of "Hipster Brewfus!" And you cant use "Burp Fewer Shits" because I already figured that one out, and it's totally awesome. (2) Winners will get picked today!</b><br />
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<b>August 22nd (2 Tickets)</b><b> - ???</b><br />
<b>August 29th (2 Tickets)</b><b> - ???</b><br />
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<b>September 5th (2 Tickets)</b><b> - ???</b><br />
<b>September 12th (4 Tickets)</b><b> - ???</b><br />
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As you can see, I'm still in the "how should I give stuff away??" phase. All entries are viable through e-mail (<a href="mailto:Jake@hipsterbrewfus.com">Jake@hipsterbrewfus.com</a>), Facebook (<a href="https://www.facebook.com/HipsterBrewfusBlog"><span style="color: orange;">/HipsterBrewfusBlog</span></a>), Twitter (<a href="https://twitter.com/HipsterBrewfus"><span style="color: orange;">@hipsterbrewfus</span></a>), and Instagram (<a href="http://instagram.com/hipsterbrewfus"><span style="color: orange;">@hipsterbrewfus</span></a>).<br />
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Good luck!<br />
<br />
More info about the fest can be found here: <a href="http://www.theannapoliscraftbeerandmusicfestival.com/"><span style="color: orange;">http://www.theannapoliscraftbeerandmusicfestival.com</span>/</a><br />
<br />
And my Roundup of last years event: <a href="http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2013/09/annapolis-craft-beer-music-festival.html"><span style="color: orange;">http://www.hipsterbrewfus.com/2013/09/annapolis-craft-beer-music-festival.html</span></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com60tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-34246606835127188212014-05-21T15:18:00.000-04:002014-05-22T14:49:46.554-04:00Brewfus' Definitive Food Pairing GuideNow look, for the last two years I've been trying to get you all to realize that I do have a semblance of seriousness when it comes to this whole craft beer thing. To do this, I decided to go on a bit of a hiatus and really dig down deep and try to lay a finger upon what it is I need to do to show that I am indeed a force to reckon with in this industry. So what conclusion did I come up with?<br />
<br />
Food pairings, yo!<br />
<br />
Seriously, what better way to show you that A) craft beer is serious business, and B) I know what the hell I'm talking about!? To do that, I spoke with all the experts in the world, and broke it down by which style best pairs with which kind of food item. I put a lot of man hours into this, but now you have a quick reference guide when you're out and about and think to yourself "what will go well with this sweaty 7-11 hot-dog?"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u>Kölsch, Cream Ale, Blonde Ale:</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Try a burrito.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KYvIi9Vvk6w/U3zt7RL4a_I/AAAAAAAACnA/HlpAagYLllo/s1600/sweet+potato+burrito+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KYvIi9Vvk6w/U3zt7RL4a_I/AAAAAAAACnA/HlpAagYLllo/s1600/sweet+potato+burrito+1.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span></div>
<b></b><br />
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<b><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>British-Style Bitter:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Try a burrito.</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rySR-Y1ChJE/U3zt43whVVI/AAAAAAAACm0/r7hlgyGS7eI/s1600/Spicy+Bean+and+Rice+Burritos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rySR-Y1ChJE/U3zt43whVVI/AAAAAAAACm0/r7hlgyGS7eI/s1600/Spicy+Bean+and+Rice+Burritos.jpg" height="319" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Pale Ale:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"></b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Try a burrito.</span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cYshVgAWX9w/U3zt6_fhW2I/AAAAAAAACnE/MdQZvZu1kZg/s1600/pdp_xxl_beef_burrito.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cYshVgAWX9w/U3zt6_fhW2I/AAAAAAAACnE/MdQZvZu1kZg/s1600/pdp_xxl_beef_burrito.png" height="253" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>India Pale Ale:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"></b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Try a burrito.</span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PzX3wXEozqo/U3zt6RjHWAI/AAAAAAAACm8/cgVKNAnXVrA/s1600/pdp_cantina_burrito_steak.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PzX3wXEozqo/U3zt6RjHWAI/AAAAAAAACm8/cgVKNAnXVrA/s1600/pdp_cantina_burrito_steak.png" height="253" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Double/Imperial IPA:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"></b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Try a burrito.</span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YvVbkbh4YNo/U3zt4YCqgnI/AAAAAAAACmI/K5FFLPhtwIA/s1600/ChipotleBeanBurrito_L.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YvVbkbh4YNo/U3zt4YCqgnI/AAAAAAAACmI/K5FFLPhtwIA/s1600/ChipotleBeanBurrito_L.jpg" /></a></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
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<div style="text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Amber/Red Ale:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"></b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Try a burrito.</span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--_XpJcdSjcc/U3zt5tvCUNI/AAAAAAAACmw/esZUXsV0fQc/s1600/burritos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--_XpJcdSjcc/U3zt5tvCUNI/AAAAAAAACmw/esZUXsV0fQc/s1600/burritos.jpg" height="159" width="320" /></a></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
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<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Scotch Ale/Wee Heavy:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"></b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Try a burrito.</span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cJXdp4ajVys/U3zt5h-NewI/AAAAAAAACms/NHXBa5dlC0o/s1600/burritos0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cJXdp4ajVys/U3zt5h-NewI/AAAAAAAACms/NHXBa5dlC0o/s1600/burritos0.jpg" height="169" width="320" /></a></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Brown Ale/Altbier:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"></b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Try a burrito.</span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8eV2xsW3ZJs/U3zt5XoFPnI/AAAAAAAACmk/7paD5IBAiGM/s1600/burrito.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8eV2xsW3ZJs/U3zt5XoFPnI/AAAAAAAACmk/7paD5IBAiGM/s1600/burrito.jpg" height="202" width="320" /></a></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Abbey Dubbel:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"></b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Put this in your mouth and eat it.</span></b><br />
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FJsfOtKVenU/U3z0hx20YkI/AAAAAAAACpA/H3gzsZHzKwY/s1600/mexicanoats_1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FJsfOtKVenU/U3z0hx20YkI/AAAAAAAACpA/H3gzsZHzKwY/s1600/mexicanoats_1.JPG" height="254" width="320" /></a></div>
<b style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
<b style="text-align: start;">
</b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Abbey Tripel, Strong Golden Ale:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
You could try a soft taco, or a "Burrito that couldn't commit."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5EFLQ1g2PQ0/U3z0Vgmt8jI/AAAAAAAACnc/KLYt1d4tlYw/s1600/8006_ground_beef_soft_tacos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5EFLQ1g2PQ0/U3z0Vgmt8jI/AAAAAAAACnc/KLYt1d4tlYw/s1600/8006_ground_beef_soft_tacos.jpg" height="177" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Old or Strong Ale:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
Though nachos might be more appropriate.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6bYxEHK42nE/U3z0f-FaceI/AAAAAAAACpE/Yd3FCGUBdng/s1600/fresh-nachos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6bYxEHK42nE/U3z0f-FaceI/AAAAAAAACpE/Yd3FCGUBdng/s1600/fresh-nachos.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Barley Wine:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
Nah, fuck that. Burritos.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_dk4wxqTTM/U3z0jX1KC_I/AAAAAAAACpk/gqAYhmYq2sQ/s1600/smothered_burrito.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8_dk4wxqTTM/U3z0jX1KC_I/AAAAAAAACpk/gqAYhmYq2sQ/s1600/smothered_burrito.png" height="253" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Porter:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
I don't care what's in it, as long as its wrapped in a warm tortilla<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pZ5x694Dzd8/U3z0aJroqLI/AAAAAAAACoY/x61xB1aXVg8/s1600/Puppy-Burrito.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pZ5x694Dzd8/U3z0aJroqLI/AAAAAAAACoY/x61xB1aXVg8/s1600/Puppy-Burrito.png" height="274" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Dry Stout:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
Haaaaave you met my friend Burrito?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VyU4LD7rvXc/U3z0VpuUR5I/AAAAAAAACns/m0jZlBEfius/s1600/2IMG_0815f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VyU4LD7rvXc/U3z0VpuUR5I/AAAAAAAACns/m0jZlBEfius/s1600/2IMG_0815f.jpg" height="144" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Sweet or Oatmeal Stout:</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
And his friend, burrito?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MRLBmRezbsI/U3z0WC2RJZI/AAAAAAAACng/kpTwHAQLTy8/s1600/AmericanBurrito_152.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MRLBmRezbsI/U3z0WC2RJZI/AAAAAAAACng/kpTwHAQLTy8/s1600/AmericanBurrito_152.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Imperial Stout:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
When I'm done eating a burrito, I like to wash it down with another burrito.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Cx_8po0YU4c/U3z0ahAvFrI/AAAAAAAACoM/XXlaIZt6PTc/s1600/breakfast-burrito-05-030911.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Cx_8po0YU4c/U3z0ahAvFrI/AAAAAAAACoM/XXlaIZt6PTc/s1600/breakfast-burrito-05-030911.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Hefeweizen:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
You know what burritos pair well with? More burritos.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zIiDfEeN_5M/U3z0f5jBCrI/AAAAAAAACo0/I65Jp-E6M1w/s1600/burrito2.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zIiDfEeN_5M/U3z0f5jBCrI/AAAAAAAACo0/I65Jp-E6M1w/s1600/burrito2.gif" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>American Wheat Ale:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
For now on, all future beer reviews will earn a score from 1 to 5 burritos.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NsPV0tR65Fo/U3z0gFHcYwI/AAAAAAAACpY/6tgY_p87aLQ/s1600/Burrito-Chipotle-Pork-Egg.jpeg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NsPV0tR65Fo/U3z0gFHcYwI/AAAAAAAACpY/6tgY_p87aLQ/s1600/Burrito-Chipotle-Pork-Egg.jpeg.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>American Table Beer:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen burrito, I said "No, but I want a regular burrito later, so "Yeah."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-93YrYeVeSCM/U3z0W9SVr0I/AAAAAAAACnk/sF2l0OyIt-s/s1600/Breakfast-Burrito.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-93YrYeVeSCM/U3z0W9SVr0I/AAAAAAAACnk/sF2l0OyIt-s/s1600/Breakfast-Burrito.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Witbier:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
Oh burrito, you so fine, you fine you blow my mind.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-poCeArwtjbA/U3z0bVN4hxI/AAAAAAAACoQ/yIHk9Fxap_0/s1600/burrito+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-poCeArwtjbA/U3z0bVN4hxI/AAAAAAAACoQ/yIHk9Fxap_0/s1600/burrito+%25281%2529.jpg" height="179" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Dunkleweizen:</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
Halfway through writing this, I went and got lunch.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NsPV0tR65Fo/U3z0gFHcYwI/AAAAAAAACpY/6tgY_p87aLQ/s1600/Burrito-Chipotle-Pork-Egg.jpeg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NsPV0tR65Fo/U3z0gFHcYwI/AAAAAAAACpY/6tgY_p87aLQ/s1600/Burrito-Chipotle-Pork-Egg.jpeg.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Weizenbock:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
And then I got a burrito.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mjI43FIHuZI/U3z0YZU3CJI/AAAAAAAACn0/XxBxSVcOqjw/s1600/Burritos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mjI43FIHuZI/U3z0YZU3CJI/AAAAAAAACn0/XxBxSVcOqjw/s1600/Burritos.jpg" height="270" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Classic Pilsner:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
"A burrito is just a sleeping bag for ground beef"<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NhqtwRlFqx0/U3z0dYAWieI/AAAAAAAACok/ZssdiE0ZfRM/s1600/burritos_chilepepper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NhqtwRlFqx0/U3z0dYAWieI/AAAAAAAACok/ZssdiE0ZfRM/s1600/burritos_chilepepper.jpg" height="179" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Helles, Dortmunder:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
Have you ever met someone who doesn't like burritos?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D4t2ArqZcxw/U3z6hq_cjxI/AAAAAAAACqY/Ac0x7fyUqLs/s1600/4514_00cajunbeefbeanburritos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D4t2ArqZcxw/U3z6hq_cjxI/AAAAAAAACqY/Ac0x7fyUqLs/s1600/4514_00cajunbeefbeanburritos.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Oktoberfest, M arzen, Vienna:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
If you have, you should bludgeon them to death.</div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5lWp1s0-_x4/U3z6hsOZXmI/AAAAAAAACp8/S_457iWDc1s/s1600/Chipotle_Sofritas_Burrito_Vegan-304.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5lWp1s0-_x4/U3z6hsOZXmI/AAAAAAAACp8/S_457iWDc1s/s1600/Chipotle_Sofritas_Burrito_Vegan-304.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Amber Lager:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
WITH A BURRITO!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0aTL-hRptKs/U3z6hs-K72I/AAAAAAAACqE/mIMNsNM0wHQ/s1600/CroppedImage680460-rice-burrito07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0aTL-hRptKs/U3z6hs-K72I/AAAAAAAACqE/mIMNsNM0wHQ/s1600/CroppedImage680460-rice-burrito07.jpg" height="216" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Dark Lager, Dunkel, Schwarzbier:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
You know who hated burritos?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lkO-bbO8EMU/U3z6jfS9xoI/AAAAAAAACqI/6udpd88SDV4/s1600/mexican-chicken-burritos-4566246.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lkO-bbO8EMU/U3z6jfS9xoI/AAAAAAAACqI/6udpd88SDV4/s1600/mexican-chicken-burritos-4566246.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Maibock/Pale Bock:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
Hitler. That is who.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9q62UmoKRvc/U30QEWj732I/AAAAAAAACq0/Z4DDyYRHaNE/s1600/food.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9q62UmoKRvc/U30QEWj732I/AAAAAAAACq0/Z4DDyYRHaNE/s1600/food.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Dopplebock:</u></b></div>
<br />
So eat a burrito, with all of your beers.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4Nf621YsRdI/U3z7eTdUDyI/AAAAAAAACqg/JlMVRKAJL6g/s1600/cocrtado-0142.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4Nf621YsRdI/U3z7eTdUDyI/AAAAAAAACqg/JlMVRKAJL6g/s1600/cocrtado-0142.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u>Oud Bruin, Flanders, Gueze, Wild Ale, Lambic:</u></b></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
Because even little hamsters love burritos.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hKs2049PDZM/U3z6jKiWkxI/AAAAAAAACqM/PN9XfNfJ44I/s1600/burrito1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hKs2049PDZM/U3z6jKiWkxI/AAAAAAAACqM/PN9XfNfJ44I/s1600/burrito1.jpg" height="222" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div>
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div>
Because the <a href="http://www.craftbeer.com/beer-and-food/taco-and-beer-pairings-to-celebrate-cinco-de-mayo">only way to get credibility</a> in this game, is to put some food on that shit. Beer is as good as wine, right?<br />
<br />
I got fries on it.</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com219tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-86254580925768170372014-04-01T11:53:00.000-04:002014-04-01T11:53:41.615-04:00I Want To Break Free<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IJw0i-NbOqE/UzrfZaMSrLI/AAAAAAAACgs/8tdI1eJmGQw/s1600/20140307_153902.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IJw0i-NbOqE/UzrfZaMSrLI/AAAAAAAACgs/8tdI1eJmGQw/s1600/20140307_153902.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i>"I've fallen in love</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I've fallen in love for the first time</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>And this time I know it's for real</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I've fallen in love, yeah</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>God knows, God knows I've fallen in love."</i><br />
<i>-</i>Queen</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
When I first emailed Justin Bonner, the owner of<a href="http://www.jailbreakbrewing.com/"> Jailbreak Brewing Company</a>, I never thought that inside of a year, I would be able to bear witness to the birth of a brewery that will certainly break free from the confines of any other normal brewery. But it's true. When Jailbreak opens its doors to the public, the craft beer scene in Maryland is going to become it's bitch.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V6GwlV6Rwwk/UzrgWFCH8eI/AAAAAAAAChM/9C_XCgAFlik/s1600/20140314_144241.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V6GwlV6Rwwk/UzrgWFCH8eI/AAAAAAAAChM/9C_XCgAFlik/s1600/20140314_144241.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Their tap handle!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I've had the luxury of being invited to Justin's house, and spending time with him and the rest of the Jailbreak crew while they practiced nailing down some recipes. It was here I was able to see what Ryan Harvey (Jailbreak's Brewmaster with an impressive resume) had "brewing" in his mind. Turns out...It's a lot. And not only is it a lot, it's so <i>different. </i>I was able to sample things like a blackberry wheat, a chocolate coconut porter (my personal favorite), and...well...these:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F9xi2nIjDTQ/UzIjSDObF5I/AAAAAAAACfo/cVzGuVKRBGw/s1600/20130924_155547.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F9xi2nIjDTQ/UzIjSDObF5I/AAAAAAAACfo/cVzGuVKRBGw/s1600/20130924_155547.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fTMn3udm09A/UzIjSOGjZuI/AAAAAAAACfk/OkHWJtt3CKM/s1600/20130924_155557.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fTMn3udm09A/UzIjSOGjZuI/AAAAAAAACfk/OkHWJtt3CKM/s1600/20130924_155557.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That Carrot Cake beer was unlike anything you have ever had. I promise.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Look, how many breweries have opened and you've thought "Yeah, awesome! A new brewery!" Only to go and see nothing special. A pale ale. A stout. Maybe a porter. But nothing with any real spirit. No real heart. Nothing to get really excited about. But at their new location, they already they have their batch of "Made Wit Basil" (a witbier brewed with fresh, chopped basil) kegged and ready to go. They also have "Big Punisher" their Double IPA, and while I was there last, they were finishing up brewing their Jalapeno IPA, and there was a blow-off bucket bubbling away with what I'm told is some cherry stout concoction. Yeah, I said it.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OqBmoHBrDFs/UzrfuKlZ28I/AAAAAAAACg0/Iodg2U_qv14/s1600/20140314_141727.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OqBmoHBrDFs/UzrfuKlZ28I/AAAAAAAACg0/Iodg2U_qv14/s1600/20140314_141727.jpg" height="400" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Made Wit Basil." See, they even appreciate a good pun!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
You and I both know that these are the kinds of beers that an established brewery will put out after its already gotten itself solidified. And these guys are having these on tap, at opening. That is ballsy. And I stand behind them 100% in this decision. Jailbreak is coming out swinging.<br />
<br />
Look, the truth is, I started writing this blog post a long time ago. This is one piece I have struggled with. I want nothing more than to highlight Jailbreak in a light of positivity that they absolutely deserve. Am I kissing their ass? Maybe. It's hard to tell. I've developed a friendship with each person (Casey, Ryan, Erica, and Justin) involved in Jailbreak, I've shared beers at the owners house, I've been privy to seeing Jailbreak develop and grow, and even helped out with some CAD work so they can move along with the approval process from the state. I've put a lot of my own personal time into helping them. And I couldn't be more happier than to have done that, and I would again in a heart beat. And with all that, while I don't have anything to lose when it comes to Jailbreak, Maryland and Craft Beer as a whole, have everything to gain from their existence.<br />
<br />
Do I love Jailbreak Brewing? Yes. And I will defend them with a fervent belligerence I save for only my most intoxicated and passionate rants on Twitter.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vgZ8NO-joWE/Uzrggx7OpdI/AAAAAAAAChU/48ZNasvmcUQ/s1600/20140314_143839.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vgZ8NO-joWE/Uzrggx7OpdI/AAAAAAAAChU/48ZNasvmcUQ/s1600/20140314_143839.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And before you try their beer, go to the bathroom and wash your hands.<br />Their faucets are magic.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-19970260121597387152014-03-19T11:37:00.000-04:002014-06-05T08:43:02.594-04:00Hipster Brewfus & His Guide On Beer For Girls<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-a7RHb6vBd90/Uym4u-MvQiI/AAAAAAAACe4/MdEbKSR61ec/s1600/chick+beer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-a7RHb6vBd90/Uym4u-MvQiI/AAAAAAAACe4/MdEbKSR61ec/s1600/chick+beer.jpg" height="305" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's a trick. It's just filled with perfume and estrogen.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
I've been asked time and time again, "Oh Hipster Brewfus you're so smart, could you please tell me which beer I should drink? You see, I'm a girl and society and the media have told me I don't know anything about beer."<br />
<br />
So here goes my answer, in long form:<br />
<br />
There is no "beer for girls." Every beer is for everyone. Regardless of your sex. So knock it off with that nonsense.<br />
<br />
The End.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-54808052308166069332014-03-06T10:24:00.000-05:002014-03-07T08:54:58.162-05:00Brewfus' Extreme Blind Beer ChallengeSo, my good friend Josh over at <a href="http://shortonbeer.wordpress.com/"><span style="color: orange;">Short on Beer</span></a> has concocted this brilliant idea called <a href="http://shortonbeer.wordpress.com/category/beer-mission/"><span style="color: orange;">"Beer Missions"</span></a> which can serve as a vessel to make beer exciting, and shake things up a bit. I highly encourage you to participate in them. During our morning session of jest between our little Twitter gang, I made some stupid claim that I can find, open, and pour a drink while blindfolded.<br />
<br />
And I'm going to do it. BECAUSE THAT'S SEW EXTREME!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kX2fGhdwPC4/UxiNrixohCI/AAAAAAAACdI/3izLF2E7v-M/s1600/Extreme_(_Extreme_album_-_cover_art).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kX2fGhdwPC4/UxiNrixohCI/AAAAAAAACdI/3izLF2E7v-M/s1600/Extreme_(_Extreme_album_-_cover_art).jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I'm going to capture this on video, and post it up, because it should be pretty good stuff, and you can all see that I am the master of everything.<br />
<br />
With all of that said, I'm challenging you to a death match.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RHHCpCPgp9M/UxiQWksxUaI/AAAAAAAACdU/Gvpt7FOsl0c/s1600/40226_1250539095822_full.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RHHCpCPgp9M/UxiQWksxUaI/AAAAAAAACdU/Gvpt7FOsl0c/s1600/40226_1250539095822_full.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
All you need is a camera of sorts, a blindfold, some beer, and hope that it doesn't turn out like this:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-45VWj5bxgdk/UxiQsfaU4BI/AAAAAAAACdk/NnzgnD6qqyU/s1600/spilled-beer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-45VWj5bxgdk/UxiQsfaU4BI/AAAAAAAACdk/NnzgnD6qqyU/s1600/spilled-beer.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
You need to be blindfolded, and what you'll do is open your beer, pour it, and hope for the best. For bonus points, have someone else pick the beer, and after you're done fumbling around, drink what you've poured while still blindfolded, and tell us what it is.<br />
<br />
For God Status, while blindfolded, get your beer out of the fridge, find your beer opener, open it, pour it, drink it, and tell us how it is, and what it is, while flexing.<br />
<br />
DO IT! Be it on Vine, Instagram, Youtube, artistic rendering, anything. Do it, and share it with me, because this can be great. But remember, It's a challenge. It's a challenge that I will win, because I'm totally awesome at doing stuff.<br />
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Thanks for the inspiration, Josh!<br />
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<b><span style="color: red;">*EDIT*</span></b><br />
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Here is my submission! I'm still waiting on yours!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-14740014011346385082014-02-28T12:03:00.000-05:002014-03-07T08:07:35.954-05:00The Session #85 - Why Do You Drink?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y_kDbbIqiqY/UxCYsUo4LqI/AAAAAAAACb0/jM2fGlxH0fg/s1600/session_logo_all_text_300_zpsf06f0c94.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y_kDbbIqiqY/UxCYsUo4LqI/AAAAAAAACb0/jM2fGlxH0fg/s1600/session_logo_all_text_300_zpsf06f0c94.jpg" height="320" width="263" /></a></div>
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While I have flirted with the idea of joining in on The Session in the past, I hate the feeling of deadlines. And while I had an excellent idea for <a href="http://literatureandlibation.com/2014/01/09/announcement-the-session-84-alternative-reviews/"><span style="color: orange;">Oliver's Session last month</span></a> (an animated flip book), I put myself behind the proverbial 8-Ball, and then shrugged it off. "Too much responsibility," I thought. But now here I am, with my new friend Doug from<a href="http://bmorebistroandbeers.blogspot.com/"> <span style="color: orange;">Baltimore Bistros and Beer</span></a>, writing a Session post. Boy, how things change in a month. The more I've been interacting with this group of folks (you know who you are), the more inspired I have become.<br />
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This month, <a href="http://bmorebistroandbeers.blogspot.com/2014/02/announcement-session-85-why-do-you-drink.html"><span style="color: orange;">Doug wants to know why I drink</span></a>. Doug, you may or may not have opened Pandora's Box on this. I'm not sure yet. I'm going full auto-pilot on this one, stream of consciousness, what have you. Beware, word fort incoming...<br />
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Why do I drink?<br />
<br />
Doug had hoped we wouldn't use this cliche fallback "it's nice to sit back with a good beer after a stressful day of work." But you know what? It's nice to sit back with a good beer after a stressful day of work. But there's more to it than just what that sentence reads.<br />
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Look, being an adult is awful. Bills, mortgages, work, kids, all of that. Yeah, I mean, a lot of it is fulfilling, but a lot of it just strips your happiness away piece by piece. Being responsible is draining. When you're drained, what do you need? Yes, you're right dear reader, to be replenished. Both physically, and metaphorically. I have said it time and time again, my favorite part about being an adult is being able to come home, and crack open a beer. It is liquid zen.<br />
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I have never thought, "Oh man, I cant wait to get home and cook some pork chops."<br />
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"I cant wait to get home to that half a sandwich from last week"<br />
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"I cant wait to get home and a have a nice glass of milk"<br />
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As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing, or at least there are not many things comparable to that feeling when you take that first sip. It gently guides your thoughts away from whatever it was causing strife, and puts your focal point somewhere else far more positive. It gives you something to focus on, that isn't you. A good beer can completely change the tide of any day. It can make a bad day better, or a great day even more great.<br />
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Why do I drink?<br />
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Because beer is more than a momentary focal point. Because beer can become something that transport you completely. When I open a bottle of DuClaw Divine Retribution, I get the sensation that I'm sitting in the lobby of the Park Plaza Hotel in Boston, and it's 3am. I have been drinking all day, with some of the best people I have had the pleasure of meeting, and its the last night to do so. So I open this bottle and share it with other beer bloggers. And when they all wander off to bed, or wherever, I'm left alone with my thoughts. And all I can think is "I'm here because I drink beer. I am who I am, because of beer. I have become Hipster Brewfus, because of beer."<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IaNtRlm1BKw/UxCzCdrd5wI/AAAAAAAACcE/9aqLGWYr4w0/s1600/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IaNtRlm1BKw/UxCzCdrd5wI/AAAAAAAACcE/9aqLGWYr4w0/s1600/Capture.JPG" height="238" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The previous story was all true</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Why do I drink?<br />
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Because beer has brought me some amazing relationships. Prior to my leaving Connecticut for greener grass, I had become part of what we fondly call the #CTBrewCrew. A loose affiliation of a group of us who just plain love beer. We formed our relationships because of beer, and deepened those relationships over many beers. If it was not for beer, there are a good 50 people back in Connecticut, that I would never know, and my life would be lacking.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2MrwBbsm2rk/UxC2Mt4mLYI/AAAAAAAACcQ/H8FXhBQGlOc/s1600/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2MrwBbsm2rk/UxC2Mt4mLYI/AAAAAAAACcQ/H8FXhBQGlOc/s1600/Capture.JPG" height="245" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We're a strange family of sorts</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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When I moved here to Baltimore, I was faced with a dilemma that I never thought I would face as an adult. I had to make new friends. It's completely different as adult compared to being a kid on a playground. How did I make friends? Through beer. I received an email from Baltibrew founder, Ryan Boddy about attending a group meeting at Nepenthe over a year ago. I had never met the guy, but he had heard of Hipster Brewfus, so I attended. One thing lead to another, one beer lead to many more. Now both he, and the owners of Nepenthe are people I consider the truest of friends. So much so, that in two months time, I'll be partying with them at my wedding.<br />
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And a couple weeks ago, I had the honor of spending time with a group of gentlemen I met on Twitter. And I have a feeling great things will come of those relationships and friendships formed <a href="http://literatureandlibation.com/2014/02/24/maryland-beer-bloggers-meet-up-heavy-seas-brewery/" style="color: orange;"><span style="color: orange;">that day at Heavy Seas</span></a>.<br />
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Why do I drink?<br />
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Because beer, in a way, brought me love. Of all the things my fiancee does to make me love her, there was one thing that had stood out head and shoulders above most since we met: She loves craft beer. I mean seriously, what else do I need to say about that?<br />
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Not only that, but she encourages me, and pushes me, and supports me when it comes to the crazy life of a beer blogger/home brewer. Shes a keeper.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RvL3wC8UxWA/UxC4-OcG2hI/AAAAAAAACcc/i2vrxxGKwaI/s1600/305324_10150775592955316_2721417_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RvL3wC8UxWA/UxC4-OcG2hI/AAAAAAAACcc/i2vrxxGKwaI/s1600/305324_10150775592955316_2721417_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was taken outside of Flying Dog brewery. She brought me there for my birthday. Because she rules.</td></tr>
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Why do I drink?<br />
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Because in a very unhappy time in my life, beer gave me a fulfillment a lot of things did not. After my first marriage dissipated, I was left alone, with a lot of time to kill. When I wasn't busy being a father, I didn't have anything to do with my time. I would drink beer and play video games. I would cook, and read. But nothing was giving me any <i>purpose.</i> I had no satisfaction with myself. I had no hobby. At the urging of my now-fiancee, girlfriend at the time, I started this blog. With that, I immediately had this void in my life filled, because I was actually doing something that had meaning to me. And at that time in my life, I needed that more than anything. I was working on keeping a relationship long distance, and dealing with...life. And becoming Hipster Brewfus came along at the most perfect time in my life. Running this blog has taken a lot of self sacrifice and discipline, but the benefits reaped, far outweigh any slightly frustrating times.<br />
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Because every person that reads what I write, and interacts with me, gives me the strength to keep doing this.<br />
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Why do I drink?<br />
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Because every beer is an adventure. Because as it states in the Constitution or whatever, that "We hold these truths to be self evident, no two beers are created equal." Because I can recall far more great memories that include a bottle of beer, than I can most other things. Because beer is fun. Because being drunk, or even buzzed, is a fantastic feeling regardless of how many other bloggers don't like to admit it. And beer is better than wine. Spit out my beer? Are you high?<br />
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Why do I drink?<br />
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Because I love beer. I would marry beer, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to drink her whole family at the reception.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-78745395092385326472014-02-21T15:15:00.001-05:002014-02-21T15:15:13.204-05:00#38 DC Brau "The CorruptionThe only thing corrupt, is this goddamned beer.<br />
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So with all the hub bub about <a href="http://www.dcbrau.com/"><span style="color: orange;">DC Brau</span></a> coming to Maryland, I thought I'd give them a shot, see what the fuss was all about. I stopped by my favorite shop (The Wine Source), and grabbed a sixer of "<a href="http://www.dcbrau.com/our_brau.cfm?brau=2"><span style="color: orange;">The Corruption</span></a>" and then sat down to talk to myself about this beer. The following is a transcript of that recorded conversation.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nYSYqro-rbk/UwenvIrU_oI/AAAAAAAACbE/Fw7xeJMmEoE/s1600/20140213_174217.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nYSYqro-rbk/UwenvIrU_oI/AAAAAAAACbE/Fw7xeJMmEoE/s1600/20140213_174217.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's chili, y0. My chili. AKA Best Chili In The World</td></tr>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: So uh...what do you think? </span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: You want the truth? I don't think anything of this beer. I think absolutely nothing.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: Let me stop you right there. I know you, you always think something of everything, even things that don't matter. So, I ask again: What do you think of this beer?</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: Fine. I think "fuck this beer." Seriously. There is absolutely nothing interesting about this beer. Especially with everyone in the area getting all stupid excited about it showing up here finally.</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: Care to be more, uh, elaborate on that?</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake [incoherent mumbling]</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: I'm sorry, what was that, you mouth breather?</span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: FINE! Look, this beer is a Columbus hops bomb. There is nothing about this beer that I would ever get excited about. Zero malt body, and the hops is just bitter for the sake of being bitter. Not even a good bitter. It just stays there, on the back of your tongue. It doesn't go anywhere, this beer has no direction, man. You know what I mean? I can picture some idiot going "ZOMG THIS IS SO HOPPY, YO! I'M A CRAFT BEER JUNKIE CAUSE I LOVE THE HOPS, YO!" And I'm just like, "Oh for fucks sake." You need more, man! You need more that just hops. Hops does not always equal "good beer," but too many motherfuckers, uneducated ones at that, think that's the case. But it's not. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE! I'll take the <i>slightest</i> bit of complexity and body over this can of bullshit. </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: ..Tell us how you really feel... </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: I just did! </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: It's a figure of speech, calm your ass down. </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jake: I'm calmer than you are.</span></blockquote>
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And it's at this point where there is nothing left to transcribe, other than lots of yelling, heavy breathing, grunts. And the sounds of 5 knuckled blows upon faces, and bodies.<br />
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I'm going to go play Final Fantasy IIV on my PSP at my gate.<br />
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The EndAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999718128939899946.post-1860723188828501482014-02-01T00:00:00.000-05:002014-02-03T09:30:21.001-05:00All I Want To Do, Is Give Stuff To YouBAM!<br />
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300+ Facebook "Likes"<br />
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800+ Twitter Followers<br />
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1 very grateful beer blogger.<br />
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I like to do these giveaways as a reminder that I wouldn't even be where I am right now without your support, encouragement, and witty banter. You guys are the fucking <i>best</i>. So to thank you, I'm doing this small giveaway. It'll have some beer, obviously, and other odds and ends. One winner. One week run time. Good luck, and thank you all, seriously. I love you.<br />
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-Jake<br />
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<b><span style="color: red;">EDIT 2/3/2014: My friends over at Nepenthe Homebrew have joined in on this giveaway and have graciously agreed (after much threatening and blackmail ) to provide extra prizes for this giveaway!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></b>
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<b><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></b>
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<u><a class="rafl" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/8fb4113/" id="rc-8fb4113" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a></u><br />
<u><script src="//d12vno17mo87cx.cloudfront.net/embed/rafl/cptr.js"></script></u></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<script src="//d12vno17mo87cx.cloudfront.net/embed/rafl/cptr.js"></script></div>
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Also look for the "giveaway" tab on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HipsterBrewfusBlog"><span style="color: orange;">Facebook page</span></a>!<br />
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I cant wait to share this on Reddit and hear the fuck ton of comments about my color scheme on the blog. Just a heads up, I know its awful, and it will be fixed.<br />
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<span style="color: red;"><b>EDIT 2/3/2014: HA! That's now fixed, suck on that!</b></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03813810401685076007noreply@blogger.com0