Palate Killer:

Put these pumpkin beers down your suck hole

The Good Kind of BBC

A Brewfus Grows in Boston

A Connecticut Hipster in King Kentucky Court:

I went on an adventure!

Beer Beview:

Turn down the lights, and let’s get romantical with some wine beer

Hipster brewfus takes on the fashion world:

Brewfus and Fermented Tees look damn good together!

Beer Review:

Alpha King is Sofa King good

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I Want To Break Free

"I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love for the first time

And this time I know it's for real
I've fallen in love, yeah
God knows, God knows I've fallen in love."

When I first emailed Justin Bonner, the owner of Jailbreak Brewing Company, I never thought that inside of a year, I would be able to bear witness to the birth of a brewery that will certainly break free from the confines of any other normal brewery. But it's true. When Jailbreak opens its doors to the public, the craft beer scene in Maryland is going to become it's bitch.

Their tap handle!

I've had the luxury of being invited to Justin's house, and spending time with him and the rest of the Jailbreak crew while they practiced nailing down some recipes. It was here I was able to see what Ryan Harvey (Jailbreak's Brewmaster with an impressive resume) had "brewing" in his mind. Turns out...It's a lot. And not only is it a lot, it's so different. I was able to sample things like a blackberry wheat, a chocolate coconut porter (my personal favorite), and...well...these:

That Carrot Cake beer was unlike anything you have ever had. I promise.

Look, how many breweries have opened and you've thought "Yeah, awesome! A new brewery!" Only to go and see nothing special. A pale ale. A stout. Maybe a porter. But nothing with any real spirit. No real heart. Nothing to get really excited about. But at their new location, they already they have their batch of "Made Wit Basil" (a witbier brewed with fresh, chopped basil) kegged and ready to go. They also have "Big Punisher" their Double IPA, and while I was there last, they were finishing up brewing their Jalapeno IPA, and there was a blow-off bucket bubbling away with what I'm told is some cherry stout concoction. Yeah, I said it.

"Made Wit Basil." See, they even appreciate a good pun!

You and I both know that these are the kinds of beers that an established brewery will put out after its already gotten itself solidified. And these guys are having these on tap, at opening. That is ballsy. And I stand behind them 100% in this decision. Jailbreak is coming out swinging.

Look, the truth is, I started writing this blog post a long time ago. This is one piece I have struggled with. I want nothing more than to highlight Jailbreak in a light of positivity that they absolutely deserve. Am I kissing their ass? Maybe. It's hard to tell. I've developed a friendship with each person (Casey, Ryan, Erica, and Justin) involved in Jailbreak, I've shared beers at the owners house, I've been privy to seeing Jailbreak develop and grow, and even helped out with some CAD work so they can move along with the approval process from the state. I've put a lot of my own personal time into helping them. And I couldn't be more happier than to have done that, and I would again in a heart beat. And with all that, while I don't have anything to lose when it comes to Jailbreak, Maryland and Craft Beer as a whole, have everything to gain from their existence.

Do I love Jailbreak Brewing? Yes. And I will defend them with a fervent belligerence I save for only my most intoxicated and passionate rants on Twitter.

And before you try their beer, go to the bathroom and wash your hands.
Their faucets are magic.

Hipster Brewfus & His Guide On Beer For Girls

It's a trick. It's just filled with perfume and estrogen.

I've been asked time and time again, "Oh Hipster Brewfus you're so smart, could you please tell me which beer I should drink? You see, I'm a girl and society and the media have told me I don't know anything about beer."

So here goes my answer, in long form:

There is no "beer for girls." Every beer is for everyone. Regardless of your gender. So knock it off with that nonsense.

The End.

Brewfus' Extreme Blind Beer Challenge

So, my good friend Josh over at Short on Beer has concocted this brilliant idea called "Beer Missions" which can serve as a vessel to make beer exciting, and shake things up a bit. I highly encourage you to participate in them. During our morning session of jest between our little Twitter gang, I made some stupid claim that I can find, open, and pour a drink while blindfolded.

And I'm going to do it. BECAUSE THAT'S SEW EXTREME!

I'm going to capture this on video, and post it up, because it should be pretty good stuff, and you can all see that I am the master of everything.

With all of that said, I'm challenging you to a death match.

All you need is a camera of sorts, a blindfold, some beer, and hope that it doesn't turn out like this:

You need to be blindfolded, and what you'll do is open your beer, pour it, and hope for the best. For bonus points, have someone else pick the beer, and after you're done fumbling around, drink what you've poured while still blindfolded, and tell us what it is.

For God Status, while blindfolded, get your beer out of the fridge, find your beer opener, open it, pour it, drink it, and tell us how it is, and what it is, while flexing.

DO IT! Be it on Vine, Instagram, Youtube, artistic rendering, anything. Do it, and share it with me, because this can be great. But remember, It's a challenge. It's a challenge that I will win, because I'm totally awesome at doing stuff.

Thanks for the inspiration, Josh!


Here is my submission! I'm still waiting on yours!

The Session #85 - Why Do You Drink?

While I have flirted with the idea of joining in on The Session in the past, I hate the feeling of deadlines. And while I had an excellent idea for Oliver's Session last month (an animated flip book), I put myself behind the proverbial 8-Ball, and then shrugged it off. "Too much responsibility," I thought. But now here I am, with my new friend Doug from Baltimore Bistros and Beer, writing a Session post. Boy, how things change in a month. The more I've been interacting with this group of folks (you know who you are), the more inspired I have become.

This month, Doug wants to know why I drink. Doug, you may or may not have opened Pandora's Box on this. I'm not sure yet. I'm going full auto-pilot on this one, stream of consciousness, what have you. Beware, word fort incoming...

Why do I drink?

Doug had hoped we wouldn't use this cliche fallback "it's nice to sit back with a good beer after a stressful day of work." But you know what? It's nice to sit back with a good beer after a stressful day of work. But there's more to it than just what that sentence reads.

Look, being an adult is awful. Bills, mortgages, work, kids, all of that. Yeah, I mean, a lot of it is fulfilling, but a lot of it just strips your happiness away piece by piece. Being responsible is draining. When you're drained, what do you need? Yes, you're right dear reader, to be replenished. Both physically, and metaphorically. I have said it time and time again, my favorite part about being an adult is being able to come home, and crack open a beer. It is liquid zen.

I have never thought, "Oh man, I cant wait to get home and cook some pork chops."

"I cant wait to get home to that half a sandwich from last week"

"I cant wait to get home and a have a nice glass of milk"

As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing, or at least there are not many things comparable to that feeling when you take that first sip. It gently guides your thoughts away from whatever it was causing strife, and puts your focal point somewhere else far more positive. It gives you something to focus on, that isn't you. A good beer can completely change the tide of any day. It can make a bad day better, or a great day even more great.

Why do I drink?

Because beer is more than a momentary focal point. Because beer can become something that transport you completely. When I open a bottle of DuClaw Divine Retribution, I get the sensation that I'm sitting in the lobby of the Park Plaza Hotel in Boston, and it's 3am. I have been drinking all day, with some of the best people I have had the pleasure of meeting, and its the last night to do so. So I open this bottle and share it with other beer bloggers. And when they all wander off to bed, or wherever, I'm left alone with my thoughts. And all I can think is "I'm here because I drink beer. I am who I am, because of beer. I have become Hipster Brewfus, because of beer."

The previous story was all true

Why do I drink?

Because beer has brought me some amazing relationships. Prior to my leaving Connecticut for greener grass, I had become part of what we fondly call the #CTBrewCrew. A loose affiliation of a group of us who just plain love beer. We formed our relationships because of beer, and deepened those relationships over many beers. If it was not for beer, there are a good 50 people back in Connecticut, that I would never know, and my life would be lacking.

We're a strange family of sorts

When I moved here to Baltimore, I was faced with a dilemma that I never thought I would face as an adult. I had to make new friends. It's completely different as adult compared to being a kid on a playground. How did I make friends? Through beer. I received an email from Baltibrew founder, Ryan Boddy about attending a group meeting at Nepenthe over a year ago. I had never met the guy, but he had heard of Hipster Brewfus, so I attended. One thing lead to another, one beer lead to many more. Now both he, and the owners of Nepenthe are people I consider the truest of friends. So much so, that in two months time, I'll be partying with them at my wedding.

And a couple weeks ago, I had the honor of spending time with a group of gentlemen I met on Twitter. And I have a feeling great things will come of those relationships and friendships formed that day at Heavy Seas.

Why do I drink?

Because beer, in a way, brought me love. Of all the things my fiancee does to make me love her, there was one thing that had stood out head and shoulders above most since we met: She loves craft beer. I mean seriously, what else do I need to say about that?

Not only that, but she encourages me, and pushes me, and supports me when it comes to the crazy life of a beer blogger/home brewer. Shes a keeper.

This was taken outside of Flying Dog brewery. She brought me there for my birthday. Because she rules.

Why do I drink?

Because in a very unhappy time in my life, beer gave me a fulfillment a lot of things did not. After my first marriage dissipated, I was left alone, with a lot of time to kill. When I wasn't busy being a father, I didn't have anything to do with my time. I would drink beer and play video games. I would cook, and read. But nothing was giving me any purpose. I had no satisfaction with myself. I had no hobby. At the urging of my now-fiancee, girlfriend at the time, I started this blog. With that, I immediately had this void in my life filled, because I was actually doing something that had meaning to me. And at that time in my life, I needed that more than anything. I was working on keeping a relationship long distance, and dealing And becoming Hipster Brewfus came along at the most perfect time in my life. Running this blog has taken a lot of self sacrifice and discipline, but the benefits reaped, far outweigh any slightly frustrating times.

Because every person that reads what I write, and interacts with me, gives me the strength to keep doing this.

Why do I drink?

Because every beer is an adventure. Because as it states in the Constitution or whatever, that "We hold these truths to be self evident, no two beers are created equal." Because I can recall far more great memories that include a bottle of  beer, than I can most other things. Because beer is fun. Because being drunk, or even buzzed, is a fantastic feeling regardless of how many other bloggers don't like to admit it. And beer is better than wine. Spit out my beer? Are you high?

Why do I drink?

Because I love beer. I would marry beer, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to drink her whole family at the reception.

#38 DC Brau "The Corruption

The only thing corrupt, is this goddamned beer.

So with all the hub bub about DC Brau coming to Maryland, I thought I'd give them a shot, see what the fuss was all about. I stopped by my favorite shop (The Wine Source), and grabbed a sixer of "The Corruption" and then sat down to talk to myself about this beer. The following is a transcript of that recorded conversation.

That's chili, y0. My chili. AKA Best Chili In The World
Jake: So uh...what do you think? 
Jake: You want the truth? I don't think anything of this beer. I think absolutely nothing.
Jake: Let me stop you right there. I know you, you always think something of everything, even things that don't matter. So, I ask again: What do you think of this beer?
Jake: Fine. I think "fuck this beer." Seriously. There is absolutely nothing interesting about this beer. Especially with everyone in the area getting all stupid excited about it showing up here finally.
Jake: Care to be more, uh, elaborate on that?
Jake [incoherent mumbling]
Jake: I'm sorry, what was that, you mouth breather?
Jake: FINE! Look, this beer is a Columbus hops bomb. There is nothing about this beer that I would ever get excited about. Zero malt body, and the hops is just bitter for the sake of being bitter. Not even a good bitter. It just stays there, on the back of your tongue. It doesn't go anywhere, this beer has no direction, man. You know what I mean? I can picture some idiot going "ZOMG THIS IS SO HOPPY, YO! I'M A CRAFT BEER JUNKIE CAUSE I LOVE THE HOPS, YO!" And I'm just like, "Oh for fucks sake." You need more, man! You need more that just hops. Hops does not always equal "good beer," but too many motherfuckers, uneducated ones at that, think that's the case. But it's not. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE! I'll take the slightest bit of complexity and body over this can of bullshit. 
Jake: ..Tell us how you really feel... 
Jake: I just did! 
Jake: It's a figure of speech, calm your ass down. 
Jake: I'm calmer than you are.

And it's at this point where there is nothing left to transcribe, other than lots of yelling, heavy breathing, grunts. And the sounds of 5 knuckled blows upon faces, and bodies.

I'm going to go play Final Fantasy IIV on my PSP at my gate.

The End

All I Want To Do, Is Give Stuff To You


300+ Facebook "Likes"

800+ Twitter Followers

1 very grateful beer blogger.

I like to do these giveaways as a reminder that I wouldn't even be where I am right now without your support, encouragement, and witty banter. You guys are the fucking best. So to thank you, I'm doing this small giveaway. It'll have some beer, obviously, and other odds and ends. One winner. One week run time. Good luck, and thank you all, seriously. I love you.


EDIT 2/3/2014: My friends over at Nepenthe Homebrew have joined in on this giveaway and have graciously agreed (after much threatening and blackmail ) to provide extra prizes for this giveaway!

Also look for the "giveaway" tab on my Facebook page!

I cant wait to share this on Reddit and hear the fuck ton of comments about my color scheme on the blog. Just a heads up, I know its awful, and it will be fixed.

EDIT 2/3/2014: HA! That's now fixed, suck on that!

#37 How Much Cider Would a Woodchuck Chuck If A Woodchuck Could Drink A Lot

**The following products were provided to me free of charge. The kindness shown has in no way influenced the words you're about to read**


I needed a slight vacation from the blog for a bit. I hope you all can forgive me for the lack of snark, sarcasm, and simmering rage. I really did go on vacation, too! I went to Mexico (Zihuatanejo to be exact) and had the time of my life. And now I am recharged and ready to write.

The first thing I want to write about on my triumphant return is Woodchuck Ciders. Woodchuck was one of the surprises for me of 2013. Sure I have always known about them, and had purchased their products in the past, but I didn't really know the depth of their commitment to the craft cider world. When I struck up a conversation with Devin and Nate at BBC13, they took the time to show me just how serious they are about their craft. That was when they explained to me about the wonderful world of Woodchuck's Cellar Series.

"Dry Hop"
"Smoked Apple"

First off, I have to ask you to take note of the swanky box they come in with the sliding top. I haven't been able to toss them in the trash either, even after both of these bottles have long been drank and peed away.

The party is inside the box.

This cider way more pale than I thought it would be for some reason. Which, I mean, is kind of a dumb thought to have. It's not like ciders ever have a stout or porter appearance.

The nose reminds me of a white zinfandel. Almost tart, crisp, fruity (obviously), and some alcohol. No hops really. But the former portion really kind of surprised me. I guess when it comes to things being "hoppy," I have this preconceived notion of what it should smell like. The smell I was getting wasn't even on my "oh what is this going to smell like" radar. You know, because of BEER. But this isn't beer.

This is super tasty. The base cider is juicy and light. There's an earthiness floating around in there, that kind of surprised me. I'm used to ciders being more clean than anything. Know what I mean? Not bad, just something I wasn't expecting. Starting cold, there is zero hop presence. Seeing as they used Cascade hops, I was expecting something...different. More pronounced. I'm just speculating here, stick with me on this, but
I wonder if hops take on a different characteristic inside of different beverages. Like, will the tart, and sweetness, and natural sugars, and science, and stuff subdue the somewhat strong characteristics of the Cascade hops? Am I making any sense? Bueller?

Who knows.

I also drank this bottle a couple months after receiving it. So I'm curious if along with my super brainstorm above, if perhaps the characteristics of a cider perhaps shorten the life of hops presence inside of it.

That said, I enjoyed it. I just was hoping for a balls out hoppy cider.

When the second bottle arrived, I was super intrigued. A smoked cider? Weird. 

To be quite honest, smoked stuff was never quite my style. But I know someone who DOES love smoked stuff, and he was on his way to my house in just a short while (I'm talking about my friend, CraftBeerCoach). 

When the time came for drinking, I was excited to bust this out, which I did. Now I didn't take notes for this, but you're just going to have to trust me on this. I was surprised that the smokiness of it wasn't completely overwhelming like I was expecting (dreading). It meshed well with the more natural cider, fresh squeezed, cider characteristics I was getting. It looked beautiful, and had a nice full taste to it, and nice pronounced body to it. I'm going to attribute that to the smoked pomace they used to make this. 

What's "pomace," you ask? Well, I had the same question, so to the Internet!

"Pomace (/ˈpʌməs/ pum-əs), or marc (/ˈmɑrk/; from French marc [maʀ]), are the solid remains of grapes, olives, or other fruit after pressing for juice or oil. It contains the skins, pulp, seeds, and stems of the fruit."
Suck on that, stock photo! I'm still using you!

We all enjoyed it, and compared to the Dry Hop, this one is vastly superior. Big on complexity, wonderful deep flavors, and balanced. GO BUY THIS NAO!

That was a great night.

I know you're thinking "hurrdurr cider isn't beer and Woodchuck? Aren't they like, a big business conglomerate or something?" No, you're wrong. They are wicked great people making a wicked good product. Give them a shot. Also, the cellar series isn't done. In fact, I have a bottle of their latest release, which is a chocolate cider...

This Cider Pairs well with: Soundgarden - Applebite

Check them out online!