The Session #85 - Why Do You Drink?

While I have flirted with the idea of joining in on The Session in the past, I hate the feeling of deadlines. And while I had an excellent idea for Oliver's Session last month (an animated flip book), I put myself behind the proverbial 8-Ball, and then shrugged it off. "Too much responsibility," I thought. But now here I am, with my new friend Doug from Baltimore Bistros and Beer, writing a Session post. Boy, how things change in a month. The more I've been interacting with this group of folks (you know who you are), the more inspired I have become.

This month, Doug wants to know why I drink. Doug, you may or may not have opened Pandora's Box on this. I'm not sure yet. I'm going full auto-pilot on this one, stream of consciousness, what have you. Beware, word fort incoming...

Why do I drink?

Doug had hoped we wouldn't use this cliche fallback "it's nice to sit back with a good beer after a stressful day of work." But you know what? It's nice to sit back with a good beer after a stressful day of work. But there's more to it than just what that sentence reads.

Look, being an adult is awful. Bills, mortgages, work, kids, all of that. Yeah, I mean, a lot of it is fulfilling, but a lot of it just strips your happiness away piece by piece. Being responsible is draining. When you're drained, what do you need? Yes, you're right dear reader, to be replenished. Both physically, and metaphorically. I have said it time and time again, my favorite part about being an adult is being able to come home, and crack open a beer. It is liquid zen.

I have never thought, "Oh man, I cant wait to get home and cook some pork chops."

"I cant wait to get home to that half a sandwich from last week"

"I cant wait to get home and a have a nice glass of milk"

As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing, or at least there are not many things comparable to that feeling when you take that first sip. It gently guides your thoughts away from whatever it was causing strife, and puts your focal point somewhere else far more positive. It gives you something to focus on, that isn't you. A good beer can completely change the tide of any day. It can make a bad day better, or a great day even more great.

Why do I drink?

Because beer is more than a momentary focal point. Because beer can become something that transport you completely. When I open a bottle of DuClaw Divine Retribution, I get the sensation that I'm sitting in the lobby of the Park Plaza Hotel in Boston, and it's 3am. I have been drinking all day, with some of the best people I have had the pleasure of meeting, and its the last night to do so. So I open this bottle and share it with other beer bloggers. And when they all wander off to bed, or wherever, I'm left alone with my thoughts. And all I can think is "I'm here because I drink beer. I am who I am, because of beer. I have become Hipster Brewfus, because of beer."

The previous story was all true

Why do I drink?

Because beer has brought me some amazing relationships. Prior to my leaving Connecticut for greener grass, I had become part of what we fondly call the #CTBrewCrew. A loose affiliation of a group of us who just plain love beer. We formed our relationships because of beer, and deepened those relationships over many beers. If it was not for beer, there are a good 50 people back in Connecticut, that I would never know, and my life would be lacking.

We're a strange family of sorts

When I moved here to Baltimore, I was faced with a dilemma that I never thought I would face as an adult. I had to make new friends. It's completely different as adult compared to being a kid on a playground. How did I make friends? Through beer. I received an email from Baltibrew founder, Ryan Boddy about attending a group meeting at Nepenthe over a year ago. I had never met the guy, but he had heard of Hipster Brewfus, so I attended. One thing lead to another, one beer lead to many more. Now both he, and the owners of Nepenthe are people I consider the truest of friends. So much so, that in two months time, I'll be partying with them at my wedding.

And a couple weeks ago, I had the honor of spending time with a group of gentlemen I met on Twitter. And I have a feeling great things will come of those relationships and friendships formed that day at Heavy Seas.

Why do I drink?

Because beer, in a way, brought me love. Of all the things my fiancee does to make me love her, there was one thing that had stood out head and shoulders above most since we met: She loves craft beer. I mean seriously, what else do I need to say about that?

Not only that, but she encourages me, and pushes me, and supports me when it comes to the crazy life of a beer blogger/home brewer. Shes a keeper.

This was taken outside of Flying Dog brewery. She brought me there for my birthday. Because she rules.

Why do I drink?

Because in a very unhappy time in my life, beer gave me a fulfillment a lot of things did not. After my first marriage dissipated, I was left alone, with a lot of time to kill. When I wasn't busy being a father, I didn't have anything to do with my time. I would drink beer and play video games. I would cook, and read. But nothing was giving me any purpose. I had no satisfaction with myself. I had no hobby. At the urging of my now-fiancee, girlfriend at the time, I started this blog. With that, I immediately had this void in my life filled, because I was actually doing something that had meaning to me. And at that time in my life, I needed that more than anything. I was working on keeping a relationship long distance, and dealing And becoming Hipster Brewfus came along at the most perfect time in my life. Running this blog has taken a lot of self sacrifice and discipline, but the benefits reaped, far outweigh any slightly frustrating times.

Because every person that reads what I write, and interacts with me, gives me the strength to keep doing this.

Why do I drink?

Because every beer is an adventure. Because as it states in the Constitution or whatever, that "We hold these truths to be self evident, no two beers are created equal." Because I can recall far more great memories that include a bottle of  beer, than I can most other things. Because beer is fun. Because being drunk, or even buzzed, is a fantastic feeling regardless of how many other bloggers don't like to admit it. And beer is better than wine. Spit out my beer? Are you high?

Why do I drink?

Because I love beer. I would marry beer, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to drink her whole family at the reception.


#38 DC Brau "The Corruption

The only thing corrupt, is this goddamned beer.

So with all the hub bub about DC Brau coming to Maryland, I thought I'd give them a shot, see what the fuss was all about. I stopped by my favorite shop (The Wine Source), and grabbed a sixer of "The Corruption" and then sat down to talk to myself about this beer. The following is a transcript of that recorded conversation.

That's chili, y0. My chili. AKA Best Chili In The World
Jake: So uh...what do you think? 
Jake: You want the truth? I don't think anything of this beer. I think absolutely nothing.
Jake: Let me stop you right there. I know you, you always think something of everything, even things that don't matter. So, I ask again: What do you think of this beer?
Jake: Fine. I think "fuck this beer." Seriously. There is absolutely nothing interesting about this beer. Especially with everyone in the area getting all stupid excited about it showing up here finally.
Jake: Care to be more, uh, elaborate on that?
Jake [incoherent mumbling]
Jake: I'm sorry, what was that, you mouth breather?
Jake: FINE! Look, this beer is a Columbus hops bomb. There is nothing about this beer that I would ever get excited about. Zero malt body, and the hops is just bitter for the sake of being bitter. Not even a good bitter. It just stays there, on the back of your tongue. It doesn't go anywhere, this beer has no direction, man. You know what I mean? I can picture some idiot going "ZOMG THIS IS SO HOPPY, YO! I'M A CRAFT BEER JUNKIE CAUSE I LOVE THE HOPS, YO!" And I'm just like, "Oh for fucks sake." You need more, man! You need more that just hops. Hops does not always equal "good beer," but too many motherfuckers, uneducated ones at that, think that's the case. But it's not. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE! I'll take the slightest bit of complexity and body over this can of bullshit. 
Jake: ..Tell us how you really feel... 
Jake: I just did! 
Jake: It's a figure of speech, calm your ass down. 
Jake: I'm calmer than you are.

And it's at this point where there is nothing left to transcribe, other than lots of yelling, heavy breathing, grunts. And the sounds of 5 knuckled blows upon faces, and bodies.

I'm going to go play Final Fantasy IIV on my PSP at my gate.

The End


All I Want To Do, Is Give Stuff To You


300+ Facebook "Likes"

800+ Twitter Followers

1 very grateful beer blogger.

I like to do these giveaways as a reminder that I wouldn't even be where I am right now without your support, encouragement, and witty banter. You guys are the fucking best. So to thank you, I'm doing this small giveaway. It'll have some beer, obviously, and other odds and ends. One winner. One week run time. Good luck, and thank you all, seriously. I love you.


EDIT 2/3/2014: My friends over at Nepenthe Homebrew have joined in on this giveaway and have graciously agreed (after much threatening and blackmail ) to provide extra prizes for this giveaway!

Also look for the "giveaway" tab on my Facebook page!

I cant wait to share this on Reddit and hear the fuck ton of comments about my color scheme on the blog. Just a heads up, I know its awful, and it will be fixed.

EDIT 2/3/2014: HA! That's now fixed, suck on that!